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Title: She's blaming me for her BPD and has cut me out of her life. Post by: Lyrical1 on July 11, 2020, 08:07:46 PM My daughter, with whom I've shared a close relationship with for more than 5 years, has recently received a diagnosis of BPD. She was diagnosed with high-functioning autism at age 16, although I tried for more than 14 years to find answers to her behavioral situations.
She has decided that I am to blame for her BPD, and that she can't tolerate my political views--even though I've refused to discuss politics with her for the past 5 years. (That's probably why we were able to remain close!) She aired all this out on social media, and I've been devastated. Help! Title: Re: She's blaming me for her BPD and has cut me out of her life. Post by: FaithHopeLove on July 12, 2020, 07:08:15 PM Oh lyrical. That must be so painful. Other than an apolitical cyber hug all I can offer in terms of encouragement is the assurance that these periods of estrangement often end. Have hope.
Title: Re: She's blaming me for her BPD and has cut me out of her life. Post by: Pomsie on July 21, 2020, 02:49:13 AM Hi Lyrical,
My daughter is 33 and although she will call me and act sweet, she is slowly started to drift further away each year. We have always been so close but me and her grandmother seem to be bad reminders of people she doesn't want to see. She and I were always really close, she looks up to me, but as she gets older she gets more distant, testy and defensive. She has friends where she lives. She is always telling me how chaotic and crazy and dysfunctional everyone is in this little town she lives in. But of course will never leave. Clearly why she moved there. Makes her look normal compared to the crazies who live there. Perhaps we are reminders of what they cannot tolerate in the world. Normalcy. I honestly worry someday the demons she fights with will become too much. And my telling her it hurts when she is gone for so long, doesnt make her think of me. It just makes her feel worse. So the problem is never fixed. And we never get close to them again. I think my solution is going to move futher away from her. So I dont feel so rejected. I spent a year in England and it was so nice not to feel heartbroken because my daughter didnt come by or call. Yes its a geographical, but it helps me. Not much else to do. Cant connect with someone who doesn't want to connect. |