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Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD => Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD => Topic started by: tiredmomrn on July 14, 2020, 06:23:54 PM



Title: worn out and exhausted
Post by: tiredmomrn on July 14, 2020, 06:23:54 PM
hello...this is my first post.  I read the book stop walking on eggshells and found this site.  My daughter is currently on her fifth admission to a crisis care facility. IOP and PHP have failed and now I am *finally* getting the recommendation for residential.  Finding a facility that is safe and accepts my insurance is a full time job.  I have recently applied for FMLA.  The facility she is currently in is pushing for discharge.  She is not safe.  She is stating she will commit suicide if she comes home...there is so much more to the story but i am just at my wits end.  Any suggestions for adolescent residential would be great.  Any other suggestions on how to deal with all this would be great too.  Thanks for reading.


Title: Re: worn out and exhausted
Post by: Modesty68 on July 17, 2020, 05:20:54 AM
Hello! I am sorry I can't help you with tips on treatment/residentals. I live in Scandinavia. But I just wanted to say that I think you are doing the right thing; prioritzing to keep your daughter safe is the most important right now. She must be more stable to benefit from real treatment. But finding a safe place would be great. And for her; probably also the fact that you are working on helping her. Although it is so, so hard for you to deal with the situation. Remember just to breathe from time to time! Best of luck to you and your daughter!


Title: Re: worn out and exhausted
Post by: EwolAneres on July 27, 2020, 09:27:19 PM
Searching for residential treatment for adolescents with mood disorders in the U.S. is a total crapshoot. I work in federal health policy so have many contacts, and it was even difficult for me. In my humble opinion, there are literally only 3-4 in the entire country that I would recommend (and this is after vetting 38 different ones across the country). My daughter is currently at Rogers Behavioral Health in Wisconsin, and we are very impressed with the program (which is focused heavily on DBT). They also are very used to working with various insurance plans.  Newport Academy in CT and CA also has a good reputation, but is stronger focusing on kids with substance abuse issues.EVOLVE in southern CA, Solstice East (in NC) and Solstice West (in UT) also have good reputations. The key is to ask a lot of questions, visit the places (several will pay for your visit), interview all key staff, and really reflect on which one will be the best fit for your daughter. The wait lists can be quite long (we waited 4 months, during which she had 2 other suicide attempts and hospitalizations). I have a document of key questions to ask, staff to interview, and a matrix of some notes on several of the places I checked out if any of this would be helpful. Hang in there—this is a lot for any parent to manage, so be kind to yourself.