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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: ladygrace on July 25, 2020, 08:05:52 AM



Title: Confused
Post by: ladygrace on July 25, 2020, 08:05:52 AM
Hi,
I’ve been frantically trying to find some clarity in what is now a very Emotional exhausting Relationship. I stumbled on this site so would appreciate a bit of support.
Only 7 months in, everything was great for the first 3/4 months but since he has gone home after the lock down he’s been very unreasonable.

I Wanted to spend an evening with a friend that I haven’t seen for 4 months.
He went off the scale. Blaming everything on Covid of course.
He’s a lovely guy but he is testing me to the core.
Should I run for the hills or try and work through it? I feel so torn and drained.


Title: Re: Confused
Post by: LittleMissQuirky on July 28, 2020, 09:36:46 AM
Hello  :hi:

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so torn and confused.  It's difficult to give any real advice without knowing more about the relationship.  For example, is this a pattern of not wanting you to see others or do you feel there may be genuine anxieties related to the pandemic?  Also, you say he is a lovely guy but also describe the relationship as "emotionally exhausting" - why do you feel this is the case?

A couple of points to maybe bear in mind:

1) Being at home together during lockdown has been very testing for a lot of relationships and for individuals and so it may be that the tension of the situation is making him behave differently.

2) Your relationship is relatively new and so if you are feeling this stressed already I would have a serious think about whether this is something you could live with in 1, 5 or 10 years' time.

Also, if by "off the scale" you mean that he became abusive, then please do consider getting yourself out of there.  Without any real help, abuse only escalates over time.  Hope things get better for you soon.