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Title: uBPD ex Unenrolled from school without my knowledge -what are options? Post by: calidad on August 06, 2020, 10:59:42 PM My uBPD/NPD ex wife decided unilaterally to unenroll my kids from their current school (which plans to home school in fall) and hire a private tutor to 'home school' them at her place. Our order gives us joint legal and specifies (in very detailed language) that she has the obligation to make school change decisions with me together and if we can't agree by April 1, we must go to mediation and then a judge. A school change cannot be made under any other circumstance.
Despite this, I learned TODAY that back in June she unenrolled the kids from their current school. And in fact a week later, she emailed me to tell me she'd re-enrolled them for 6th grade and also applied to some other school in case SHE decided to switch schools. So the school has a copy of my order and I called them and they said to re-enroll requires a waitlist. My question - since the school violated my court order by unenrolling my kids without my permission, wouldn't the school be required to re-enroll them irregardless since the court order states they need my signature to unenroll them? This is in California. Title: Re: uBPD ex Unenrolled from school without my knowledge -what are options? Post by: GaGrl on August 06, 2020, 11:35:30 PM What is your primary concern -- the quality of your children's education, the safety of children under Covid-19 conditions, or cost of the private option?
Title: Re: uBPD ex Unenrolled from school without my knowledge -what are options? Post by: calidad on August 07, 2020, 08:46:36 AM My primary concern is for their well being. The school has a phenomenal distance learning option - basically home school with teachers for this school year. There is zero reason to hire a private teacher and pull them out of school.
Title: Re: uBPD ex Unenrolled from school without my knowledge -what are options? Post by: defogging on August 11, 2020, 11:33:59 AM I have a similar arrangement in my parenting plan with 50/50 decision making on everything. My exPDw violated it last year by firing my daughter's therapist without my knowledge. I tried to patch that up, but the T eventually said she needed to move on because my exPDw was continuing to lie to her and she couldn't continue therapy if she didn't have both parents on the same page. My L told exPDw's L that if it happens again we will sue for contempt and attempt to remove Mom's decision making power.
I would recommend working with an attorney to show the courts what happened and how your ex violated the agreement by making unilateral decisions without your knowledge. Even if nothing gets fixed right now, you are building a case for the next time it happens. That's my strategy, because I know it's a matter of when (not if) my exPDw has another outburst and tries to make a change without my knowledge. Hopefully she does it enough times to where the court will see that I'm the stable parent and give me full decision making. Title: Re: uBPD ex Unenrolled from school without my knowledge -what are options? Post by: GaGrl on August 11, 2020, 02:49:14 PM Is she expecting you to pay 50% of the cost of the private option?
Even if that is not your priority in the situation, you could use it in a motion for contempt to make the point that you don't pay for her bypassing the joint decision-making. A motion short of court action would be mediation, but mediation typically does not work well with pwBPD. |