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Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD => Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD => Topic started by: Eitak on August 09, 2020, 11:19:23 AM



Title: First thread; 16 year old daughter, with extreme emotion dysregulation.
Post by: Eitak on August 09, 2020, 11:19:23 AM
Following the first steps in joining this group... I’m mother to a 16 year old daughter, with extreme emotion dysregulation. (BP I, BPD, etc). Have been trying to “help” for 4 years, with local therapy, wilderness therapy, RTC, inpatient psych, meds, etc etc etc.  things are only escalating.  I want so much to support her but she is only becoming more and more angry towards us (father and myself).  Involved in my own counseling, to care for self and find ways to interact with her.  I Participate in Alanon (recommended by others as way to help set limits, care for self). I am Reading literature.  Considering petitioning the courts for CHINs,, but afraid that will only exacerbate the abandonment issues.   Feeling lost and sad.  Hoping this group will provide some insight and, if nothing else, the acknowledgement that I am not alone.   Thanks for listening.  


Title: Re: First thread; 16 year old daughter, with extreme emotion dysregulation.
Post by: PearlsBefore on August 09, 2020, 05:06:19 PM
 :hi: Well, first things first - you're definitely not alone; indeed you'll find people here in almost exactly the situation you describe - and they're able to offer some advice, but also in need of some of your advice as well. (I hadn't considered wilderness training for example, my own pwBPD is no longer a teenager but I'm curious whether you found it reduced her anxiety to be out of "society" some? My personal experience was that it was helpful because it wasn't usually "life" that caused the anxiety attacks, it was the inter-personal relationships...so encouraging time in nature often helped).

The co-morbidity between BP1 and BPD can be more frustrating than some of the other co-morbid pairings simply because it can be difficult to isolate whether it's the BP1 or the BPD that's dictating the current disaster. (Though keep in mind, don't blame all her meltdowns on mental health - teenagers are also just, well teenagers. Remember that even without the mental health issues, you'd be having SOME of these problems and letting SOME of this stuff slide). My "main" pwBPD isn't comorbid to BP1, but I live the kind of life where there are multiple pwBPDs involved. (But not myself, I had an intensive background check where they contact all the colleagues and relatives and run dozens of tests for a full-panel psych review and yeah,  [sarcastic :wee: ], the conclusion is that I'm the sane person trying to take care of all the insane folks and that I'm qualified for it, lucky me).

Does she appreciate the increased attention from nurses, counsellors and such - or is she the type that shuns them?