BPDFamily.com

My adult daughter has BPD and is very volatile. I find myself dealing with anxiety and depression because I never know what she will do next. I am constantly terrified. I can’t be alone in feeling this way, what have others done to stay centered and calm. I feel like I’m losing my mental health to this.

I have started therapy for myself and reading a lot of books on the topic. Its very easy to read the book, but so hard to implement during a rage attack. We need detached attachment and stop being afraid of the rage attacks.  I didn't cause it, I cannot cure it and I cannot control it. I am working on my emotions. I dread the phone calls and what will be a trigger of the moment. I realized I am an easy target as she knows being the mother I will not leave her. I also feel trapped that I have this notion (wrong of 'good mothers' are always there support their children. Once I started to understand I have options, my attitude has started to shift. She is an adult with a family and a good job and a wonderful husband. Her suicidal threats are the most to deal for me as an emotion. Last few times, I didn't rush to be there for her as a choice and she found ways to call the therapist and other friends to calm herself down. She is still raging at me how I didn't show up and decide to call the therapist to check on her. Told her next time it will be a wellness check. Mind you she is Dr. herself.
In essence, we need to work on our emotions internally. Its a lot of hard work and I am just taking baby steps. Good luck!