BPDFamily.com

Can anyone help!
I believe for several years now (since seeing my own therapist and reading so much of this valuable information) that I have been living with a high functioning borderline.
For 20 years life has been chaotic , traumatic , stressful , anxious and so very very upsetting to the point of literally breaking.
I left my partner 2 years ago but not because I didn't love them because I simply couldn't live in that environment anymore.
I used to wake up every day feeling so dreadfully sad and look in the mirror and will myself to try and do something to at least give myself a chance to feel something different.
It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.
I do not live in my home country and so my support network was not around me which makes things much more difficult and isolated.
I have been trying to either believe that there is hope or find a way to let go which is difficult when you are connected by 2 children.
I truly believe that my partner has BPD (a very sad and traumatic childhood) but with no noticeable symptoms to the outside world how do you get them to understand or even get help.
I used to believe that these arguments and the intensity of them was real and that I could chance and adjust but they always came back. I watched it hurt my children and break all of my connections to family and friends apart.
It has broken my world apart over 20 years.
When you are bound by love and you also start to understand the intensity of feelings that your partner has to deal with it is hard to leave like a normal abusive relationship.
I cannot see a way out of all of this.
Life feels so stuck and sad all the time.
Any advice is appreciated.