BPDFamily.com

Hey all.  Married to BPD wife for 6 years now.  Been a roller coaster, of course.  We both have been blaming PTSD from issues in her past (some caused by me, some previous 2 husbands), but finally found Stop Walking on Eggshells and some other books and it's like a whole new world.  I find at least in the short amount of time I have understood what is happening, I can deal with it better, although it is still tremendously difficult.   Had a pretty serious blow-up tonight, but for the first time I was able to keep my cool, and I stopped myself from saying like 50 things I would have said before and made it all worse.  (Not to say it went well, it went pretty bad, but I don't know if I can do anything about that.)

Anyway, the thing I find most remarkable is how accurately SWoE and other books describe the behavior of my BPD wife.  In some ways isn't it a little eerie that everything plays out exactly as described by some doctor 20 years ago?  Anyone else marvel at the similarities?

L8r.

Hi Wimax,

*welcome*

I'd like to welcome you to the family. I'm glad that you decided to join us.


I don't live with my pwBPD for a few years now but I do coparent with her and had to learn new skills and that increased my awareness ( I was always self aware ) I don't know if you share similar feelings but I had no idea what was going on and at one point I thought that I was losing my mind because of how it was always my fault and it sounded convincing although there was always something off. It felt like I was going through an experience that was unique that no one had ever gone through before and it felt very isolating and hopeless but eventually I found BPD and like you are sharing here it was incredible how similar the behaviors were in the book and from reading the accounts from other members on this site as well.

Every discussion I felt like I could relate it felt like it was my life.

You probably already know this but it takes time to get a handle on learning new skills and accepting the fact that a loved on has BPD and accepting that a loved on can cause as well too. Learn as much as you can about the disorder you will quickly see the benefits ( you already have! ) and become proficient over time. Depersonalize the behaviors and learning about them is how you can learn that they the behaviors are not personal to us - it's something that a pwBPD is going through at the time but we're allowed to have our feelings about them too it helps to discuss those feelings with a T and a support group ( like us! ) Welcome to the family  :hi:

PS This is an article that you may enjoy https://www.bpdfamily.com/content/communication-skills-dont-be-invalidating