BPDFamily.com

Hi there,

I have a sister-in-law who seems to have BPD attributes.

I'm concerned about the psychological wellbeing of my brother and his children.

I spoke with her for 3 hours on Monday. The first hour was her screaming at me.
She claimed that all her stress was because of my family and extended family. My family is very close and has only tried to be supportive. However, most attempts to phone or help is either met with contempt, being ignored or anger, and then she claims that no one ever phones, and when I point out all the examples of people phoning, she makes an excuse as to one she should ignore them. Her comments are contradictory and irrational. 

She often says she wants to or is going to kill herself. She says this in a tone that is half joking and, from my perspective, is sincere. She has told that she has had thoughts of suicide in the past.

Although, not in these exact words, she said she yells at my brother whenever he gets home. If she speaks to him on a daily basis the way she spoke to me on Monday, this is empirically a form of emotional/verbal/psychological abuse. If she speaks this way in front of the children, I'm inclined to think this is a form of abuse for the children as well.

The kids have started to show behavioral issues. One began stealing things at school (pre-COVID), and regularly demonstrated regressive behaviour (Baby talk, palilalia, etc). The other child shows signs of low self-esteem and anxiety.

My brother was once a very confident person, but also appears have very low self-esteem, and is in denial of the severity of the situation.

She informed me that she is seeking out counselling. Her doctor prescribed it because she has very high blood pressure and is not because of BPD attributes, as far as I know.

I'm looking for advice on to best support my brother and his children.

Thanks