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Title: Tired of being put in a parent position Post by: OverwhelmedHubby on September 30, 2020, 12:33:02 AM I have been with my wife for 4 years now. She has always suffered with mental illness, but a little over 2 years ago she was diagnosed with BPD and our world hasn't been the same since. Ive tried to be a strong loving and supportive husband, but my needs have fallen to the wayside significantly since her diagnosis. Its like she is stuck on the diagnosis and letting that take over, where as her illness and behavior was way more manageable before this new diagnosis. I want her to get better of course, and ive been super supportive and patient but my patience is wearing very thin. Im more like a parent than a spouse considering im aways having to monitor and guide her like a child. And on top of everything, we're not intimate either, so its a loose loose loose situation
Title: Re: Tired of being put in a parent position Post by: CountTo108 on September 30, 2020, 09:47:22 AM I'm sorry, I have no advice—but a big "me too." (And sympathy, big hugs.) Won't do ADLs, self-care, hygiene, DBT toolkit. Or complains I'm nagging, forgets when prompted, lies about having done, sabotages machines (2 sink disposals, 2 car passenger mirrors, 1 vacuum cleaner…), or simply does so badly I have to clean up the mess and re-do. Could leave her to her own devices to suffer consequences, but then I suffer (overflowing cat-box, snappishness on grocery runs b/c she won't eat or drink water on the regular, medication screw-ups & medical crises—latest involving 5 staples to close head wound and a night in ER). Kids do this stuff, but usually grow out of it; mine is regressing, 20+ years.
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