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Title: I don't know what to do or where to start. Post by: weweresomething on October 03, 2020, 03:05:43 AM I keep saying to my SO that all I want is to be able to talk to him.
It seems as though communication between us has completely broken down, and I feel like I should just cut the cord now, and end our relationship. I don't believe he has been diagnosed with bpd - I've been able to get him to see someone - twice now in 2 weeks. He is a firm believer that "talking about it" doesn't help. Says he's tried. I love him, but I don't love who I am becoming since being with him. He is a great person, caring, loving, supportive - but he has other stressors in his life which he isn't coping well with. He has controlling tendencies, is insecure and when I travel for work he would assume that I was cheating on him. I am just learning about bpd, currently reading "stop walking on eggshells" - it's a hard read as it is so eye opening. Things broke down tonight and I feel like it's just the beginning of the end. If I choose to leave, how do I feel like I've let him down by not doing everything I can to help him - should I have to sacrifice my life to help him? We've been together for 3 years now, living together for just over a year when I moved from across the country to be with him. We had a long distance relationship for 2 years. There were red flags then, and they are still present now. I'm so grateful this community exists. Title: Re: I don't know what to do or where to start. Post by: Mutt on October 09, 2020, 06:21:38 PM Hi weweresomething :hi:,
*welcome* I'd like to welcome you to the group. I'm sorry for the circumstances that led you to our site here but you'll find a lot of people that can relate with you and offer you guidance and support. I am just learning about bpd, currently reading "stop walking on eggshells" - it's a hard read as it is so eye opening. I agree it's a lot to digest and it really pulls at the heartstrings especially when we're going through some rough periods in a r/s. I'd suggest to digest it slowly because it's a lot all at once - you may find yourself self reflect on different things and thinking it over several times over a period of time until you process it and doing that for each instance or behaviour or trait. It's a process it takes time but you'll find that it will give you the tools to heal when you read about. It sounds like he doesn't change or doesn't think that the issue is with him and it's sad to hear that when you're in a r/s because you both want to work on it but sometimes that's not possible so the responsibility for that will be left on the emotionally stable partner - so the change that you want to see in the r/s has to come from you. |