BPDFamily.com

I have been reading and learning and growing and this board has helped .. I have tried some tips and seen a level of improvement but that doesn’t stop the rollercoaster and I’m trying to discern if it’s time for me to get off


On Saturday night me and my fiancé were having a great evening we’d gone out for tacos he danced with me at the restaurant, followed by ice cream. We were on our way to his place to play chess... I started having allergic reaction ... he rents a room from a “church family” ... they have a questionable life to say the least and it’s no a great environment. However we e talked about boundaries and I actually believed that he was following them... the family was having a Halloween get together in the adjacencies t studio behind closed doors ... he knew I was sick and just coming that way to use the bathroom .. he loudly says “ do you want to go in and say hi to everyone?” He leaves my side to open the door I’m horrified because I was breaking out in hives and rashes and the goal was benydryl emergence and to lay down a bit. I said no and he repeats himself it was like he was anxious or something ? I quickly went to go to his room there’s no door only a curtain for privacy . I lay down my head spinning . He says I’m going to go and get your medicine... I hear him stop at the next room and talk to the little boys and I wonder “Why?”  But I didn’t think too much at the time ... why he was lingering soo long ... I think he was avoiding the kitchen now... when he came back in the room he said he needed dental floss and he had chicken In his teeth.  I told him okay but hurry with the meds ... it was quiet then I hear this really loud kiss ... no talking before or after ... footsteps and then him blurting out My fiancé is here she’s in the room .. weird tone in his voice and suggesting something he knew wasn’t okay ... and she said I shouldn’t just go I. There and then I don’t know why I got up and went to the door . I said I was having an allergic reaction and it was really awkward . She says let me know if I need to give him a spanking ... I really couldn’t process ... they thought I didn’t know ... but then I was really triggered and he could tell ... I say I heard a kiss ... none of the explanations made sense .. he said

She kissed me in the kitchen I couldn’t avoid it
I went to  the bathroom and cried I was In shock

I confronted him further ... She thought I was gone didn’t she?

That’s where it gets weird , if it effected him so horribly then why not tell her ?
I know what I heard and I know what actions a caring loving man would take if he valued protecting His relationship

He’s cried and begged and prayed and done everything but confront her ( If what he’s saying is true that it was unsolicited)

I think I’m a fool... I know that the explanations he’s given me are not even logical and I am feeling shaken and sick my face not like a fever..

I don’t even know if this post makes sense but I know that this is a significant moment that I can’t hide from . I can’t pretend. I’m really sad and just devastated. But at least not in hiding not in denial anymore .. thanks for listening

You’re in the middle of a medical emergency and he is kissing some other woman, whether or not he initiated it?

That he prioritized his need for dental floss over your need for Benadryl is very concerning.

How are you doing today and what do you think about this in retrospect?