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Title: New to the group Post by: Rae F on November 06, 2020, 02:50:41 PM Hello,
I am reaching out for support. My husband has self-diagnosed himself with BPD and many things over the course of our 8 year marriage are making more sense now and I am having a lot of feelings and thoughts come up. Thanks Title: Re: New to the group Post by: Indigo15 on November 06, 2020, 02:55:09 PM Welcome! I am new to the group as well. My husband was diagnosed through a therapist who led him to two psychiatrists for evaluation and official diagnosis. Is your husband willing to seek professional help?
Title: Re: New to the group Post by: Rae F on November 06, 2020, 03:05:29 PM Hi Indigo15,
Thank you for your reply! He is, I have actually been helping him try to find a therapist. He is currently on a waitlist at 2 places and I am waiting to hear from another therapist who practices DBT that I reached out to today. He purchased a bunch of books on BPD and also got a DBT workbook but he really needs something more immersive and with an accountability element. Title: Re: New to the group Post by: WorriedHusband on November 06, 2020, 04:04:59 PM I am very happy for you because willingness to be treated is really important. I am sure my wife would never be treated, although I am hopeful that she will be someday.
Welcome to the site! I just recently joined and I have learned so much here in such a short period. If only I had known this is what my wife had then I would have been able to deal with things differently Title: Re: New to the group Post by: Indigo15 on November 06, 2020, 04:09:03 PM Good for you both! It sounds like you are taking the right steps. I highly recommend therapy for yourself. It is no easy feat being the partner of someone who has BPD. I recommend the books ‘I Hate You Don’t Leave Me’ by Kreisman and Straus and Stop Walking on Eggshells by Mason and Kreger.
Title: Re: New to the group Post by: Indigo15 on November 06, 2020, 04:13:24 PM @worriedhusband Please don’t bear yourself up with the should of, could of, or would of’s... I have been there. It is not our fault. Mental Illness is not something anyone could know about until they experience it and it’s usually too late - meaning you are already in love and have already been hurt. Have you sought therapy for yourself?
Title: Re: New to the group Post by: WorriedHusband on November 06, 2020, 07:30:17 PM My wife left 5 weeks ago, blocked me, and filed for divorce. I didn’t realize she was BPD or even know what it was until I broke down and saw a Therapist last Friday. He said there’s something I want you to see and showed me the DSM5 turned to the BPD page. She has all 9 diagnostic criteria. Had I only known I could have changed the way I handled things with her and could have prevented this.
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