BPDFamily.com

Hello everyone.
My BPD D dx with BPD in 2019. She has been inpatient in hospital setting 3 times, now currently her 4th inpatient in a mental/behavioral health setting. She is 19 yo self harm, takes otc pills to kill self. Believes noone cares, that everyone has to agree with her viewpoints no matter what situation. If you don't she will argue with you and say nasty stuff. We as her family know they things she says nasty we don't take to heart of course it hurts. She has tried many medications to which doesn't help, dbt therapy and she was not cooperative with that therapy. Need advice and help. It is heartbreaking and just want to have her safe  and know how much she is loved and proud of her.

Welcome.
 We are so glad you're here, although we're sorry for the circumstance(s) that brought you here. This forum can be a support and a part of the network you need.  You can't do this alone, and you are not alone, please know that.
It is indeed heartbreaking.  With adult BPD children it is particularly problematic in that we can't force them to continue / follow therapy. It is good that she is a current inpatient, though, that is something- at least for the time being she is safe. 
Now for you- the first step is in believing you have equal rights as your daughter has.  Take a look around this forum.  Read up on BPD , a good book to start with is "Stop walking on Eggshells" . There are more suggested readings in this forum's library. 
The next step that will keep you sane is knowing you have no power over what she thinks.  " What other people think of me is none of my business"  is a slogan/ saying I have to repeat to myself daily. 

This is going to be a marathon, not a sprint.  Prepare for the fact there will not be" the one thing out there "that makes your daughter well again.  Lots of trial and error ahead, but you have us with you. Please write back to us as you have need.  You can also press on people's names in this forum to get previous posts/ their back story.