BPDFamily.com

My wife has been badly depressed for many years and on and off anti-depressants all her life due to sexual abuse as a child. She has been a binge drinker and will often drink until she is unconscious
She has attempted to take her life 3 times and was committed on the last occasion and diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.
Earlier on this year she wanted to find her abuser and prosecute him. We tried and failed through the police. None of her family supported her, in fact the opposite was true.
This led to an increase in alcohol consumption and arguments, often drinking large quantities of neat vodka and hiding empty bottles around the house.
6 weeks ago she left in the middle of the night, took our dog, and left me a note saying she was leaving and didnt want me to contact, she wanted to find herself and get over her trauma. I havnt heard from her since (she's blocked all forms of communication).
Finding it really tough right now. Not all her fault, we havnt been getting along very well the past few months due to lockdown, but I really need closure. Or should I just give up

Hi wishingfortime - Welcome:

I'm sorry about what's going on with your wife.
It's easy to understand that sexual abuse can be a source of mental health issues.  At some point, a person has to change the repeating script in their head and move on. It sounds like she thought that if she was able to bring charges against her abuser, that life would magically change for the better. Do think that she would magically get better, if she was able to successfully bring charges against her abuser?


I suspect that she may have been dealing with some additional mental health issues that result from brain wiring and/or brain chemistry.  Does anyone on her side of the family have any type of mental health issue?  

At what age did her sexual abuse occur and who was the abuser?  How much talk therapy has she had?  Why aren't her parents on her side regarding this?  Don't they believe she was abused?


Does anyone in her family know where she is?  If she really wants to find herself, she could really use a good therapist.  A therapist could help her change her ruminating thoughts about abuse, change the script in her head, and get on with her life.