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Title: My mother has BPD Post by: lovie on November 15, 2020, 10:14:15 AM About three years ago my parents split up and this understandably made my mothers BPD worse. When my dad left i was the one to deal with the brunt of her disorder and therefore we went from having close relationship to not having one at all. I ended up leaving home because i felt i could not deal with it anymore and she was not accepting the help she was being given. Many things were said and done that i don't think i can bring myself to forgive nor do i think we will ever have a relationship that was the same as before everything went wrong. After i left she made attempts to contact me to reconcile, as did i, however it goes round in circles and we can never get along because she can be very volatile because of her disorder. This has an impact on me by making me feel upset, stressed and even depressed. However after not speaking to her for a year she has recently got in contact with me and asked if we can sort our issues out. I am unsure as what to do and was wondering if any advice could be given? She has a new life now with another man and children therefore I'm wondering if that could've changed her?
Title: Re: My mother has BPD Post by: beatricex on November 16, 2020, 06:46:40 AM Hi lovie,
you said "This has an impact on me by making me feel upset, stressed and even depressed." I totally understand this feeling and am always trying to find an escape. It is possibe your mom has changed. With my BPD'd mom, she has made some changes, and I read that a significant life change (like the divorce from your Dad and a new relationship) can change a personality disordered person. This is actually the only thing that will change them, I read, a significant life change (ie death, divorce, etc). Please let me know if you reach out to her how it went. ((lovie) a big virutal hug for you, you are very brave b Title: Re: My mother has BPD Post by: Blue Elephant on November 23, 2020, 06:48:21 AM I can definitely relate and just made my first post about my mother as well.
I agree with the other comment that it is possible that your mom has made some type of positive lifestyle shift, but you need to do what's right for you. If you think you'll have trouble setting and respecting your own boundaries in a relationship, I would say to give it a lot of thought before making any decisions and take things slowly. A relationship would be nice to have so long as it's not detrimental to your health. Best of luck and take care of yourself. |