BPDFamily.com

Last year when I started to slowly getting away for being so mad,  self pity, guilt and all others signs for being a Codependent and I started to do research on why our relationship is extremely challenging. That's when I found out about CD and BPD dynamics. I started listening to audiobooks about it and it gave me a better understanding. It help me to think I wasn't crazy. But I knew I needed more. That's when I came across this site.

I was off for awhile and just got back now. I finally moved out and on my own for the last 3 months now. Although I know for sure this time that there is no coming back and that I am happy for my decision. I like where I'm at but I still sometimes feel the pull and guilt. It's getting better each day but it's 2 steps forward 1 step back.

We are currently in the stage of ironing our separation agreement. This brought up a lot of hard arguments. Brought back deep frustrations for me.

I find myself 1 day in better mood one day I'm not.
Just this past 2 weeks I suffered from deep depression and hopelessness. Just this Monday, I started to be up in good spirit again and getting hopeful for my future.

I find that we both have the same complaints and arguments but none of us get through each other. I find that we both wanted to express the worst things that we did to each other but no one has validated our feelings as we are too busy pointing fingers. I for one, recently realized I still have a lot of unresolved conflicts and a small trigger can still set me off.

And just few minutes ago, my x said he really was looking for a strong and steady woman and I wasn't it and it's fine. This really shakes my head for one, if you are a steady person and get involved with a ubpd, I doubt you'll get out steady, two does bpd individual also not aware they are not steady?

I can certainly say, I am not as steady I was once thought but I'm for certain became stronger more than belief to survive what I went through.

I still get frustrated for getting affected by it though.


This emotional roller coaster is very exhausting and question myself if I too have a BPD.

Do you question yourself too?

I think it is common to have a person with codependency pair with a pwBPD and share some similar traits, but they are different conditions.

Two people with BPD tend to not make a stable pair, so while there's no way anyone of us can tell someone they have BPD or not, it would not be as likely that you would have BPD.

While we are not able to change another person, sometimes working on our own succeptibility to being triggered, co-dependency- and our own contribution to the drama, the circular arguments can impact the dynamics between both people. So working on your part in this will be helpful to you, and also may reduce some of the drama and patterns between the two of you.