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I adopted my daughter at 8 months old she was in a very neglectful situation. She is now 19 she got pregnant lived with me and we raised this little boy for 2 years she married a narcissistic person and the 2 of them have taken my grandson and left and disowned the family. Claiming that we were abusive throughout her life. She has blocked everyone in her previous life And I have done everything I can think of to see my grandson any suggestions

My heart breaks for you.  My daughter has also used my grandchildren to blackmail me in the past, and claims that I was neglectful and abusive throughout her life.  I am fortunate in that my son-in-law will not allow the blackmail to continue.

My suggestion is to use this forum to vent your frustrations and for useful information; and to commiserate with people who have similar experiences. I have understood that grandparents have a legal right to see their grandchildren, but don't know anything about enforcing it (assuming that it's true).

I hope that you get to see your grandson very soon and wish you peace.

Such a painful situation. In my situation the little one was whisked off when a new relationship started - and my anxiety about her was almost unbearable. There was nothing I could effectively do, however. So I just waited and eventually the child was back with me.

In my experience BPD folk seem to merge with whoever they are with - so a lot of this might be driven by your daughter's partner - being possessive?

Grandparents do have rights, but it is always worth thinking through each possible option - eg how would it work, would it cause more alienation in the long term etc.

I am not sure from what you have said how long it has been since they cut you out of their lives. I had to wait many months before I was allowed to connect the first time this happened to me. It was a very painful, anxious time.

I hope there are some parts of your life that you can draw on to keep you on top of things - especially at this time of the year.

My heart hurts for you. I am not able to see my 6 month old grandson and it is killing me. I don’t have any suggestions, but deep empathy. May I pray for you?