BPDFamily.com

You can find my history here: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=345222.msg13124902#msg13124902

After three months of NC, I've met with my wife as she wanted to discuss the divorce. For the said three months I've been working out, going to Family Connections meetings, learning new skills for my career - basically improving in any possible way. Here's how the meeting went:

• she announced that she's moving to London, has already filed for pre-settlement status and she's not coming back to Poland, ever; she still has two years of school to finish here and a lease for an apartment signed for a year or so
• I've told her I've been going to the FC meetings and that our marriage counselor has suggested the BPD diagnosis but didn't want to confront my wife directly as she was starting her own individual therapy and 'it will and should come out there and not in marriage sessions'
• only one of the therapists she has met in 2019 has suggested that it could be BPD, but it never came out in her current individual therapy; moreover, she managed to finish said therapy online in under 5 months (!) and is now not attending any
• she explicitly said that 'she still isn't certain of her identity but she's trying to push it somewhere new'
• when I've told her that I can only agree upon the 'quick' divorce if she admits to her fault because of cheating, domestic abuse etc.; she replied that it's a huge red flag on my part, that she did well to leave me and she doesn't want to see me ever again
• before storming off she said that she was never happy with me, now she finally is and she's glad to have sabotaged the marriage by the infidelities etc.
• she came back about 1,5 hours later, agreeing to admit it's her fault, saying that what I've said 'has really struck her deeply and that she doesn't want to hurt anyone like that ever again'
• we've spent the rest of the evening talking and playing games like if there wasn't a divorce looming over us (?)

Here's the thing: I've seen her move, change careers and schools multiple times over the years - and each time the 'new' meant 'finally feeling happy'. Also, each time the bliss lasted for a couple of months at best. Should I hope that she will change her mind about the relationship? Or is moving abroad equal to burning the last bridge? Am I wrong in assuming that her issues are most likely still unresolved and that there's some twist to the story I should be expecting?

I wouldn’t hold out hope for her return, but as you’ve experienced, it’s hard to predict what someone with BPD will do. You’re aware of the patterns you’ve seen over the years. What about her makes you hope to rekindle the relationship?