Title: I know its over but this is a thought in my head since its Christmas Post by: legalboxers on December 25, 2020, 06:14:19 PM Im sorry if this isnt allowed, but if its not,please delete:
(An open letter to her) *song playing in the background: Margo Rey - This Holiday Night* Our friends show up. Despite this pandemic. The table is set, the place settings are there. The food is in the oven. You look amazing in your dress. Your eyes really stand out in what you are wearing, regardless you saying you "hate dressing up" and look "bougie" , whatever the hell that means.. The tree has many presents under it. We are at the table eating our meal with our friends.. I propose a toast. To your friends.. My friends. And especially you, to the person who got me through this hell. Who was there by my side, my soulmate my love, my person. The person who was by me through thick and thin, The most amazing woman who I am lucky enough to call my fiancee... My better half. My love. My mirror... Someone who I know who I would spend the end of time with, someone I know who would be with me through thick and thin... But then I wake up... I try and see through the fog.. the haze... I scream out you name. I shout.. I cry... You are not there anymore. You were nothing but a dream to me. A dream which I will try and hold on to. In my darkest times. To Try and take pieces of the good times, to shine the light when the days and nights are cold, to keep me warm at night. To know you were there when this whole world was falling apart. And to know your no longer there and I had to fight it by myself. Merry Christmas.. Wherever you are...I love you... Title: Re: I know its over but this is a thought in my head since its Christmas Post by: Mutt on December 26, 2020, 03:30:30 PM Hi legalboxers,
You can see how intensely you felt for her through your words. This is the perfect place to write something like that. Thank you for sharing that. Feelings get intensified when it is laser focused on one particular thing. Balancing the good times with the bad times helps reframe your thoughts and feelings. Take time to think about or write down the bad qualities when you are reminiscing about the good times or good qualities. Title: Re: I know its over but this is a thought in my head since its Christmas Post by: legalboxers on December 27, 2020, 10:46:50 AM Hi legalboxers, You can see how intensely you felt for her through your words. This is the perfect place to write something like that. Thank you for sharing that. Feelings get intensified when it is laser focused on one particular thing. Balancing the good times with the bad times helps reframe your thoughts and feelings. Take time to think about or write down the bad qualities when you are reminiscing about the good times or good qualities. Sadly.. they were none. She would always fight with me. When I met her it was about a water heater, then it was I couldnt spend time with her. This pandemic and my financial situation plus I take care of my mom who is 85. So many factors. Title: Re: I know its over but this is a thought in my head since its Christmas Post by: Mutt on December 27, 2020, 12:19:55 PM Excerpt So many factors. I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through a difficult time. Take it I’ve day at a time or you can break it down to taking it one hour at a time instead. Hang in there. Title: Re: I know its over but this is a thought in my head since its Christmas Post by: legalboxers on December 27, 2020, 06:26:03 PM I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through a difficult time. Take it I’ve day at a time or you can break it down to taking it one hour at a time instead. Hang in there. She called me Thanksgiving Eve she needed me, I ran to see her in the middle of cooking. The day before my birthday she went back to her ex, she messages me the day before Christmas to see how my birthday was. Mind you I could not go to see her on her's because we had treed down (and her mom died a few weeks prior, so it was tit-for-tat with her) she also rubbed in my face how her guy brought her breakfast. Now Im wondering whats she will do for New Years Eve. I know it will be hard on Valentines Day because she and I were to get married. Title: Re: I know its over but this is a thought in my head since its Christmas Post by: Mutt on December 27, 2020, 07:05:11 PM Excerpt She called me Thanksgiving Eve she needed me, I ran to see her in the middle of cooking. That’s pretty nice of you to put everything down to tend to her needs. Did she show you appreciation for this? Excerpt The day before my birthday she went back to her ex, she messages me the day before Christmas to see how my birthday was. Excerpt she also rubbed in my face how her guy brought her breakfast. The hallmarks of someone that is emotionally immature - satisfying your feelings with instant gratification and lacking interposant skills when it comes to other people needs. Excerpt Now Im wondering whats she will do for New Years Eve. What if she needed you? What would you do? Title: Re: I know its over but this is a thought in my head since its Christmas Post by: legalboxers on December 27, 2020, 07:27:57 PM That’s pretty nice of you to put everything down to tend to her needs. Did she show you appreciation for this? The hallmarks of someone that is emotionally immature - satisfying your feelings with instant gratification and lacking interposant skills when it comes to other people needs. What if she needed you? What would you do? She showed ZERO appreciation. In fact she cried to me she had no money and couldnt fix her fuse situation. So what do I do? I give her $1,300 I had to sell my macbook air and a macbook mini for the money. Wasnt thankful at all. She is very immature. I dont think I will help her. Physically, emotionally and mentally.. I maybe in times sq. I maybe in the city. I maybe passed out intox on my couch. I dont know. This year has been hell for me. I gave up a nice job in the beginning of the year because of covid. Since my health sucks, I gave up a nice job because of that. I lost her. Its not a good year. I lost friends and bosses who died. |