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Title: How to tell truths to a pwbpd instead of accepting falsehoods Post by: persistom on December 27, 2020, 06:27:46 PM Certain truths must be told in one way or another, certain events must be qualified as true at a given moment. Doing this in front of the pwbpd is a challenge because I myself have a condition (ADD) that causes me to react impulsively or prevents me from thinking about the consequences of what I might say or how I will say it. Silence sometimes seems to be an opportunity to avoid fuelling the divergence between our points of view. But a silence says a lot anyway...
I find that writing something well thought out can be a good option when faced with my limitations. Wanting to stay with a pwbpd will be a challenge. Title: Re: How to tell truths to a pwbpd instead of accepting falsehoods Post by: Cat Familiar on December 27, 2020, 09:41:26 PM It sounds like writing what you want to communicate might be a good strategy.
Often people with BPD believe what they feel is factual and when challenged on that, can become agitated and even more determined that their opinion is true, regardless of what the facts are. So be forewarned. Logical arguments can fall upon deaf ears. Title: Re: How to tell truths to a pwbpd instead of accepting falsehoods Post by: EyesUp on December 28, 2020, 07:04:40 AM I use an app called Evernote to log short, concise observations of interactions with my wife, as well as my feelings and perceptions.
I find that it's helpful to go back and review, in order to keep events and "truth" in focus. One discipline I find useful: I make one entry per day, so each entry is time stamped, and then I don't make edits (which would change the time stamp). You might find that simply tracking your thoughts instead of reacting (or even responding) will help bring clarity. None of this is easy, but you are in good company here. Good luck! |