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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: gandalfpomegranate on January 12, 2021, 03:40:23 PM



Title: Assistance please
Post by: gandalfpomegranate on January 12, 2021, 03:40:23 PM
My partner has bpd she has been upfront about it from the start.    She moved in with me 18 months ago and now recently has said she does does known if it was the right decision.   She feels lost lonely.  She is in treatment with medication and seeing  physiologist regularly.     She tells her family that she is happy but tells be different.  We have not been intimate for months as I suffer from PE which makes her feel like there is no point I have tried may different treatments but none seem to help.    She is finding it difficult to see what is ahead of her in life.    And feel like she should move away and be alone


Title: Re: Assistance please
Post by: once removed on January 14, 2021, 03:01:45 AM
its not uncommon for a borderline partner to report some of the things shes telling you shes feeling. these are the things that people with bpd struggle with, even in the best of times. at the same time, they are things to be taken seriously.

it sounds like there is a lot of distance between the two of you. the sex is, no doubt, a significant part of that, but intimacy comes in lots of forms.

how recently did she express she wasnt sure this was the right decision, and what else did she say about it?


Title: Re: Assistance please
Post by: gandalfpomegranate on January 14, 2021, 07:24:06 AM
She has said for a month or so.  That she has not been happy.   The last few weeks have been difficult as I last my father 5 days before Christmas this year he lots a batter with lug cancer.   Her went from being able to do stuff to passing in two months.     She has said before that she was not happy but I have always re assured her that I am nit going anywhere and I will be there to help her.     Also she has now decided that she would like to have a week away by herself to think


Title: Re: Assistance please
Post by: once removed on January 21, 2021, 02:21:48 AM
im sorry to hear about the loss of your father. i lost mine about three years ago, about 15 days before christmas as well. its hard  :hug:

Excerpt
Also she has now decided that she would like to have a week away by herself to think

where does she plan to go? has she done it yet?


Title: Re: Assistance please
Post by: gandalfpomegranate on January 30, 2021, 06:02:56 AM
she plans on going to the beach her happy place. and has said she would look for a place to move to.  I have spoken to her saying that I want her to take some time away, if that is what she wants and think, and then we can talk after she gets back.    She has been a little better of recent being a little (closer) to me being a little more affectionate.   but she said today that she wants me to go on the dating website so that when she leaves me (she says when not if) that I may have someone.