BPDFamily.com

Long story short, We've been married since 2016, separated on and off since Jan 2018, 2 children (2 and 4yrs old). This is our 4th divorce case and Im healed enough to finally go through with it. He moved me out 3 times, with these children being left with me to care for. I   am a RN, and I   can do this without him, but being that I've tried to establish my career again with and without him during this covid mess with 2 toddlers, its been hard to get above water financially.

Has anyone used a CDFA before, do you have any resources that I   can use to get an expert opinion of what kind of settlement is appropriate in my case.

Thank you for the support on this site. Its been immeasurable!

What are the reasons you believe you might need a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst?  Is it that you suspect he's hiding or squirreling away marital funds that should be disclosed during a divorce?

Generally family courts have formulas to provide for child support.  You could ask for spousal support while the case is ongoing, you may get it or maybe not.  A four year marriage would be considered short term and so alimony may not be an issue, generally it is not more than half the length of a marriage and sometimes less.  (Mine was 2 months for each year of my 18 year marriage.)  A forensic accountant's most common use would be for revealing marital assets when negotiating a settlement, usually near the end of a divorce.

You mentioned that he had moved you out on previous cases.  Have you tried filing for 'possession' of the residence during the length of the divorce?  He may be the owner but the court can decide who gets possession during the case.

Do get a lawyer to provide you legal advice.  If you don't have one yet, at least get multiple consultations — generally free or inexpensive — for legal advice, precautions and practical strategies.

We recommend an excellent handbook for cases like ours with risk of conflict and obstruction... Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=47078.0)

I've only heard of using a special financial analyst during a divorce if there was a business (or other complex financial structure) involved and/or if one or both parties had a lot of assets.

How far did your other 3 divorce cases get?  Was it ever at a discovery stage, where assets were listed, etc?  All of that should be evidence in your current case.  Are you/have you been legally separated, or is it more informal two-houses kind of thing?

I can definitely see it being useful to get tax advice if there are investments, etc that are being transferred from one to the other.  My ex ended up with tax implications he wasn't expecting from some of the language in our decree.

I had some issues come up that I just handled myself with spreadsheets, but we were just dividing accounts, nothing really complicated other than coming up with numbers we could agree on.

There was one figure that came up that my attorney said we'd need professional help for, but I did a lot of research and made some phone calls and figured it out.

Twice I contacted my tax accountant with questions, but she offers free email advice if the issue is simple.

Anyway, I had more time than money during the divorce process and early in closeout, so that worked for me. To my knowledge, no adverse effects were created by what we agreed to.