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Title: How to cope with the constant negativity Post by: Hopefulmominneed on January 25, 2021, 06:57:19 PM Hello,
Does anyone have any recommendations on how you cope with the ongoing constant complaining and negativity? I put my life aside to care for my bpd son and hear things such as no one helps me and I am crying for help. Then any suggestion you make obviously is a negative response. Or I get all these kids are in college and don’t work because their parents pay for everything and I never received anything and had to struggle my whole life. I don’t respond as I k is it will get no where . Any suggestions would be appreciated. Title: Re: How to cope with the constant negativity Post by: beatricex on January 25, 2021, 08:16:31 PM hi hopefulmomindeed,
You asked an easy question, which is maybe why no one responded right away? How do you counter negativity? with positivity of course! Look, I have a Borderline mom and Borderline step daughter. Someone needs to be the adult, and yup it's me cause I have not gotten any diagnosis (yet). That means, I need to be the adult, and the one to counter the negativity. Is it hard? yes, I won't lie to you Does it get easier? yes I do hope you will post more, but constant negativity is something I've dealt with my whole life until I escaped from the enmeshment with my Mom. You know what you do? Surround yourself with some positive people. :hug: b Title: Re: How to cope with the constant negativity Post by: Sancho on January 25, 2021, 08:24:42 PM Nowadays I don't respond - the reason being is that it fuels more negative response.
I wish I knew what the answer is. One aspect of the 'negative' response I find particularly difficult is the 'whatever'. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrh. Trying to have some control over my own life working with a BPD person. Eg 'So would you like to meet up at 10 am or 11? Response 'Whatever'. And I know if I say any more it will be a mini explosion! Just so exhausting! What is your approach at the moment? Do you respond, try to answer/explain? Title: Re: How to cope with the constant negativity Post by: Swimmy55 on January 25, 2021, 08:52:15 PM One thing I did before my adult son got too dysregulated was to put myself in time out whenever he started with the negative talk. I told him (during a time of calm) that from now on, negative talk and how I didn't help him will be a signal that we need to not talk for a while and I will go to another room. Do you think you could have an agreement like that with your son?
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