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Title: Frustrated Post by: queenofsuburbia on February 05, 2021, 07:48:51 PM So my boyfriend has BPD, depression and anxiety. He likes to isolate himself and not talk to anyone including me when he gets in his moods. Well since Christmas he has been very silent with not much talking and I have only seen him once 2 weeks ago since 2 days before Christmas. When I saw him he was his normal self with me and even gave me a big stuffed sloth, but once I got home and told him I was home he messaged he was glad I got home safe and did not talk again or read my messages until 1 week later. Last Saturday he messaged me saying he wanted to see me this Saturday so tomorrow and again goes back to not talking. So today I messaged asking if he still wants me to come over tomorrow and he was not answering or reading my messages. I also called when he was on facebook and it rang to voice mail so I left one. Now I have anxiety and am new to realizing he has BPD so I am a work in progress on how to deal with him. I know I should not have but I messaged him quite a bit but would usually wait an hour between them and I did end up calling 3 times leaving voice mails every time. 4 hours ago he finally responded and wrote "I'm tired of you not waiting till I'm ready you know the s**t dealing with someone in family died and you blowing my phone up is rude as hell while at funeral and everything to do with the services." He never told me anything about anyone dying because he has not spoken all week. I also do not understand the first part of his message. He has not responded since but my response was saying how should I know someone died when he has not spoken in a week and that I am not a mind reader. I also added that he was the one who wanted me to come over tomorrow but from his response it sounds like it is now a no. I do not know what to think anymore. I know I should have laid off messaging and calling but it is hard for me. I wanted to know the answer and I still do not have one. I am getting so frustrated with him not talking and I barely see him. It feels like I don't have a boyfriend and if I talk about him I feel like I am making him up sometimes. Does anyone have advice on how to deal with him when he acts like this? I am feeling at the end of my rope. I love him, but I don't know if I can keep dealing with him not getting better but actually getting worse.
Title: Re: Frustrated Post by: Cat Familiar on February 06, 2021, 03:03:37 PM Even emotionally healthy people can find themselves in a tailspin with a death in the family.
He’s told you that he needs space. Give it to him. In the meantime, start reading about codependency. Here’s a good article to begin: https://bpdfamily.com/content/codependency-codependent-relationships |