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Title: Can close friend with BPD have normal superficial relationships? Post by: Woundedfriend on February 07, 2021, 05:25:43 PM My close friend coworker took a few months to expose classic BPD traits. Hot/Cold and being very affectionate then very cold. I have been on a roller coaster ride for almost a year. She gets mad and ignores me which drives me crazy and nobody sees that it’s more her than it’s me. I react to her mood swings where others don’t really notice what she’s intentionally toying with me. This last time she set up and started recruiting my replacements in the office the same time she discarded me. Sending my close friends texts and emails, asking others “ Why don’t we talk anymore, and getting close to people a month ago she didn’t care for. All this while totally ignoring me. None of these people think she is to blame and I wonder can she maintain normalized relations with others so they don’t know she is BPD? I worked with her for years and always thought she didn’t care for me until we got really super close. I once disclosed to her I started to have feelings for her ( which I’m over) while I was going through stuff with my wife. I think she uses this as an excuse to discard me even though I’ve said time and again I’m only out for friendship. She’s told me she’s dumped lots of male friends for “ Getting the wrong idea” even though she leads guys on and acts interested for attention. Not saying she did that with me just pointing that out
Title: Re: Can close friend with BPD have normal superficial relationships? Post by: Cat Familiar on February 08, 2021, 10:02:14 PM BPD is a disorder of intimacy. The closer you get with someone who has BPD, the more likely you are to experience the issues that arise. Outsiders often don’t see it with higher functioning people. It’s usually just their close contacts and family who experience it.
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