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This will be a little strange to say here...but meant well...via those getting over a bad relationship..has anyone noticed after you get out of these things your sexuality starts returning? I think we turn off to them...via all the stuff...and when they are gone...that feeling returns...has anyone else noticed this as I have? It's like you wake up again to life once they are out of your system...

just curious...has anyone else noticed sexual awakening when it is really over with a BDP...I have...it's strange...but noticed I woke up when we were done and our long history...was blamed for so long about sex and bought into it...I know this is touchy stuff...but waking up to sexual feelings again has been important...very curious to see what others think...I think this is an important thing going on for Nons and worth talking about...

are you talking about sexual attraction to our ex partners, or to other people?

YES and YES

All the abuse kills sex in you - and then you are free - the difference is you feel alive, you open like a flower on a sunny summers day after all the long periods in the cold darkness.

I hope it isn't inappropriate to mention such a thing...if it is, please just kill the thread...but yes, this is something I noticed...those feelings start returning once they are out of our lives...

so true Mr. Right...just realizing this...it's a nice thing and a surprise to feel certain things again...you realize how much these relationships have simply taken away and deadened many of us inside and about life in general...my god, when I look back now and see the toll this relationship took...it's a nice payback for all the pain to start to feel things again...

Once...no, not towards our ex's...not at all...or mine anyhow...and I simply mean a sexual feeling in general...life again once out...I don't mean anything crude...I see now how that feeling had been so muted for so long dealing with a bad relationship...it is all encompassing and not in a good way of course...

cash it might be a very good sign that your depression is lifting. When it relates to mood, most doctors will ask about sex drive, sleep, appetite changes as metrics

This caught my attention! I just talked to my therapist about this the other day. When I was with my ex BPD she wanted sex frequently and I struggled to want it as much as she did. It actually bothered her. There were times that I felt pressured into sex. I figured maybe because I'm in my forties now that my testosterone is dropping causing my desire to be less but now that we are apart I am feeling the same. I don't know if it's from being lonely and missing sex but I told my therapist I also wonder if all the fear of being left again and hurt again as I have been in the past with her added up to my not feeling real sexual with her.

Cromwell...yes, I think so...and Carguy, interesting...I found the exactly the same...I had lost all desire...I don't mean this in some crude way about just wanting sex...nothing like that...I think these relationships are so all encompassing and take up so much of our emotional and physical life that when done, feelings and such start to return...not only sexuality, but other feelings about life...it's like we have been held underwater for so long and finally come up for air...and the things we thought dead and gone return...life has some nice surprises when we finally start facing it and ourselves maybe? It's a giveback if you know what I mean...

Cash,
It’s wonderful that you are starting to look forward to the future again! Such a big step! Hopefully the people who are just beginning their journey will see that there can be light at the end of the tunnel and everyone here is cheering them on!
B53