BPDFamily.com

Since my wife has been back from treatment center (she has BPD, depression and anxiety) it has been tough.  She has cheated on me before and has a lot of new male friends she made while in treatment center, which I am struggling with and learned there is no use sharing those feelings with her or expecting anything different.  I feel I am doing her more harm than good  with my feelings and emotions and not sure where to go from here. 
She is a few days back from treatment and seeing no real changes in her common? 
It was a 49 day treatment center for reference.  I believe now I am done with our relationship but no idea what to do now.  We have two kids 5 and 2 and they have suffered with her and have signs of abuse/neglect.  Which was identified with doctors and therapists. 
While she was gone, our kids were amazing with me and I showed them alot of love and support that they were not getting while she was here and that is my main focus now.  I do not wish them to be subjected to her neglect and abuse as I have seen the change in them when they were not.  Her parents and I feel she may be done being a mom (lots of evidence) and having a hard time admitting that to herself and giving up her children would mean loosing to me in her eyes. 
An end goal for me would be... I would very much like her to leave us willingly and work on herself by herself.  But I have no idea how to initiate that with her. 
Any advice on either helping our situation at home during this transition period or the end goal would be appreciated.

It sounds as if you are planning on ending the relationship?

I do not see a recovery.  I very much would like to keep my family together but I realize it is not up to me anymore to do that.  I want what is best for my children.

I hear you.  My W is going to try an experimental, expensive, and intensive treatment beginning next week.  I view this as last resort.  No other treatment/therapy so far in her life has made much of an impact.  I'm willing to be supportive of this new treatment, mainly for the kids' sake.  But if I don't see much improvement from that, I fear my only option is to split.  I can't keep living like this.  My kids can't keep living with this. 

My wife did DBT and CBT therapy at Bellwood in Toronto.  It cost a fortune and I felt it was a last resort too.  What experimental treatment is your wife getting into?

 

Ketamine infusions and TDS stimulation.  The Ketamine cost is $1500.  The TDS will be covered by insurance at $100 copay for 6 weeks.  So $2100 altogether, which would be a bargain if it helps.   The idea is to actually re-wire the connections in her brain.  It's advertised to help those with major depression that do not respond to medication, and for those with PTSD.  From my internet research, there is some reported success with BPD - but then again many people with BPD are also depressed and do not respond to medication, and are also diagnosed with PTSD. 

Please let me know if there is any success in this.  I will look into it myself.

I'm going to start a new thread about it.  Success or not, I think it will be useful information for others.