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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: Hopefulfriend on February 20, 2021, 10:54:54 AM



Title: Friend
Post by: Hopefulfriend on February 20, 2021, 10:54:54 AM
I wasn’t sure where to put this, because the person in my life who I suspect has BPD is my best friend, not a family member or romantic partner.

I’ve felt like she and our relationship have been unhealthy from the start. After we met, she was quick to jump into very vulnerable conversations and talk about what an amazing person I was. It made me uncomfortable. She would send me cards that were multiple pages long with tiny text praising me and our friendship.

She’s always struggled with anxiety, but I began to suspect BPD after I started dating someone almost two years ago. My romantic relationship is an extreme trigger for her. Me moving in with my boyfriend was one of her worst fears, and it came true just a few months ago. It’s hard to feel okay about something that seems to create a living hell for my best friend.

I know that I need to create stronger boundaries. I can’t go a few minutes without texting her without her getting upset. I know my behavior feeds hers. Sometimes it just feels like it’s not worth the battle. I feel like her negative feelings are centered around me and I know she does too. I struggle to know what to do. I love her and our relationship is so important to me.


Title: Re: Friend
Post by: tvda on February 20, 2021, 01:36:20 PM
Can I ask why the relationship is so important to you? Because it feels like is creating a lot of difficulties for you. What do you get out of the relationship?