BPDFamily.com

Hi all,

Last year this time I came onto this forum like a mess. Breaking up with my pwBPD was one of the most painful experiences I've ever gone through. During the initial months, I couldn't drive pass her house, and if I had to, each time seeing her front porch brought a pang of intense emotions that overwhelmed me. There were days I couldn't get out of bed, constantly having suicidal thoughts, sometimes I was so feeble, I curled up in my closet gasping for air.

Now looking back, I can say that I am a new man. The failed relationship had long seized to bother me. Just the past weekend I had a short interaction with my pwBPD,  seeing my changes, she was intrigued and drawn to me, trying to rekindle our relationship, and I felt no desire to reconnect with her at all. So I remained cordial and kept the boundaries well in place. My point is, last year there were days I felt I couldn't go on without reconnecting with her, that I had to reach out to her. I am glad that I didn't for it'll ruin any recovery I had had by maintaining no contact.

And after 9 months of gruesome ordeal, I am finally free from the shackles of this relationship. I am not even bitter towards her, work is going well, and my days are (mostly) filled with a sense of peace, joy and hope. I want to say to anyone struggling the same way I did - there is light at the end of the tunnel, just hang in there, don't give up by breaking NC. You know she/he is toxic to your life, so keep them away from your circle no matter how painful the process feels. The pain will eventually ease, and you'll emerge to be a new person. Some steps to take:

• Keep posting here, writing our your emotions helps with coping
• Watch BPD related video on youtube, one of my favorite is by AJ Mahari
• Most importantly, maintain NO CONTACT, or you'll repeat the pain all over again

Hope this helps, and I look forward to seeing you all on the other side.

Again I screw up the excerpt option and copy paste the whole post haha !
My bad. Techno dunce I am.
 
  But thank you for the link to A.J.   
 

Sure thing. She is a trained clinician who also happens to be a recovered pwBPD, so she spoke from her personal experiences. Her videos really opened my eyes on this personality disorder and helped me tremendously in my recovery.

I am looking forward to this once settlement is over - true to form he is dragging it out as long as he can to keep contact with me.

Thank you for your post - it gives me hope :)

Sure thing. My personal experience is that the infatuation/yearning for the pwBPD lasts 5-6 months. Once we break no contact during the first 6 months of breakup, all our previous work goes to waste and the obsession cycle starts all over again. So absolutely no contact in the first few months is key to detachment. Best of luck to you in your recovery journey.