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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: Macmaolain on March 28, 2021, 06:31:35 AM



Title: My wife called the police - advice welcome
Post by: Macmaolain on March 28, 2021, 06:31:35 AM
Situation:
We have been living separately for 14-18 months, depends on who you ask. I am in the basement and access the main level x3 per week to do laundry at night.  Yesterday my suspected bod spouse started keeping the basement door locked.  We have a dog and a cat who frequently roam between the floors and of course are scratching and whining and don’t understand why the door is locked and I’ve been needing to text her to open the door.  At 3 am I asked her to let the dog up as he wore me up and she refused to let him back down at 5 AM when I usually wake up and have coffee with my dog and cat.
As she is now breaking our verbal agreement on how we are separated in the house, I unlocked the door( you need the little key that fits into the side without the lock-tab) and let the dog down.
My spouse immediately said she was calling the police ( sounded pre planned ) and I stated that this is our house Abm legally anyone of us can go into any part of the house.

She called the police, I made a cup of coffee in the main kitchen, while waiting for them, and they said I wasn’t doing anything wrong.  Tried to say I had a temper !

Seems like triangulation with the police and as we are moving into more intense lawyer conversations and starting to work on the divorce details, I think is possible triggering abandonment.

I need to protect myself and family ( one 17 year old in HS for another year ) but I am now concerned. after some research, that she could file a restraining order, just make something up, and that would destroy everything.

Thought, comments, advice & experience very welcome.

Thanks in advance.


Title: Re: My wife called the police - advice welcome
Post by: Lucky Jim on March 29, 2021, 03:25:47 PM
Hey Mac, Welcome!  Sorry to hear what you are going through.  Sounds like she was picking a fight with you by locking the door.  Good boundaries seem critical for you.  Also, you could start keeping a Notebook with contemporaneous entries on her bad behavior, which will help if things escalate to a restraining order.  In the meantime, my advice is: don't engage.  She will likely try to provoke you, by bullying or taunting.  Decline to engage, is my advice.

LuckyJim