BPDFamily.com

I posted earlier asking how to enlist my son to buy into going to residential treatment and I want to give my thank you and gratitude to those who shared ideas and skill sources to draw from to assist in this dialog.   Happy to report he is onboard to obtaining help for his BPD/ocd/ marijuana use. 

He leaves Thursday.  Any nuggets of advice from those who have walked this path prior?   

Thank you all for just being here and sharing.  It’s a life line. 

Hi,
I have been here with my son.  It is hard and at the time I was filled with guilt and a bit in denial as I didn't realize the extent of my son's illness.  Or rather, I thought he would " snap out of it" and get back to normal. 

~So my advice is to let the process happen for your son.  You can be a part of therapy / doc visits and if they / he allows it, you can also visit your son.  If for some reason there is a week, a month or more when you can't visit or talk to him , hang tough.  You can still pass messages to your son through his mental health team .  ( my son stopped speaking to me for a long while, but I was still involved with his mental health team).
~ Looking back on that time, I see my son truly did need residential.  I credit it with saving his life, keeping him and me safe,  and allowing him to graduate college.  He was put back on track for a few years. 
~ Take care of you.   Get out the coping skills which can include writing to us here, going to your own therapy if necessary, exercise, etc. 
~ Your son wants help.  That is huge.
~  Write back here as you have need. We are here for you.

Well ... residential (this one)  was not a match for my son. Other patients much younger /immature with drug alcohol  issues. He felt very isolated having BPT/ocd.  Now looking for intensive inpatient program instead..  As adults these voluntary programs are tricky.  But I wish they’d treat folks a bit more specialized vs lump sum.  I get the concern for contraband at entry...I really do,  but body searches to past rape victims? When that’s been disclosed during intake seems a bit incentive and instant loss of trust does occur.  And those with ocd are already triggered knowing they need to share a room and bathroom.  His first hour was torture and all about drug testing, searching his items and his body.  Difficult first hour at center.  His roommate not a good match either as was immature, pain drug abuser with strong opinions/gossip regarding quality of staff.  My son bolted.  When upon entry was eager for help and very invested.  Told family friends of his commitment towards getting better.   Onto finding a better fit for his needs and yet another insurance mess to untangle.