BPDFamily.com

In my times of confusion, googling, reading whatever I can, I see that there is no definite trait of lying for BPD. I initially thought my person may be Narcissist. The only thing brining me here was the pleading, pulling me back if I showed any hint of leaving and very OCD rigid habits.

The first red flag for me ( which I passed off as insecurity) was a blatant lie.
There were many more lies, even when I produced proof, but also really elaborate lies which were totally needless.
My most recent encounters, both two weeks apart consisted of total stoicism, slow body movements, no eye movements, almost dissociation but tears because he is depressed and being blamed for his recent rages and losing his job.
The next time he's jolly, cheerful, says he's feeling better and that he'll forward me photos and arrange to meet. I knew when we said goodbye not to expect it. He was so convincing though, being very elaborateand affectionate. This is someone who says he doesn't want to lose me, I'm the only woman he loves, but is doing absolutely nothing to interact with me except if we see each other by chance..

I have felt bad for trying to reach out ( I've never done this with anyone else in my life), I've felt that I had to convince him I'm still here for him. I've listened to him tell me I'm the only good thing in his life, and felt so hurt at being completely dropped, but most of all because of  the extreme switch in moods I don't know in which encounter he was acting and lying.
I'm wondering if Sociopathy is involved and its actually scared me a bit seeing the vast difference, enough to make me resolute that I need to detach.


Does anyone else have any similar stories about elaborate lies or crocodile tears?

I saw a lot of this with my BPD ex wife.  She was capable of "turning on" certain emotional responses or "masks" at will and definitely did (and still does) lie pathologically.  She could act stoic and strong one moment, sullen and fragile and weepy the next, the life of the party next, and coy and seductive the next.  And let's not forget her temper.  She used to brag about manipulating police officers when they pulled her over for speeding, how she could "batt her eyelashes at them" to get them to let her off.  She apparently also bragged to others about how easy to manipulate I was.

Even after we divorced, she would try to pull me in with various dramatic antics - and even after I was remarried.  I remember one time she showed up at my house, and my wife let her in.  She walked in, didn't say a word, and was shaking and appeared very distraught.  She sat down at our kitchen table and played a video she recorded on her phone (audio only) of a fight with her boyfriend and how he was being abusive toward her.  She was trying to get us to immediately pity her and come to her rescue.  It also happened to be right during the time when I was filing for custody of our youngest child.  I'm not minimizing anything she went through with that guy, but it was so clearly a contrived, theatrical performance it was sad.  My wife was like "?"