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Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD => Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD => Topic started by: Gir5 on May 09, 2021, 10:48:29 AM



Title: Nc how to explain to people
Post by: Gir5 on May 09, 2021, 10:48:29 AM
I have been nc with my family for almost 2 years. I live over 100 miles away and have done for almost 15 years. However, I still have a pretty obvious accent. I have a young family and other mothers often  ask if I visit family or will question me about my ‘hometown’. I have lots of unresolved feelings about the whole situation and it brings back a lot of internal conflict every time someone asks.

I’m just wondering what others say in this situation? I just feel that maybe if I had a rehearsed answer that doesn’t go into it or stop the conversation it might help.

Thanks for reading


Title: Re: Nc how to explain to people
Post by: zachira on May 09, 2021, 02:37:47 PM
I think having a rehearsed answer is a very good idea. I don't have one to suggest though I am certain other members will give you some really useful ones.
It is sad that most people just don't get it, that sometimes we have to go NC with family members. I find that there are few people that get it, so the best thing to do is to share with the right people my low contact with my family, hoping to be able to go NC permanently at some point. I now check people out. I notice if they ever ask about me. Most people don't. I pay attention to if they are able to have empathy. I also listen for if they have ever suffered any kind of loss and are able to talk about it, instead of stuffing their feelings. With time, you will find a few really wonderful people, you can talk about the NC with your family if you desire to do so. We get it here, so reach out and post anytime.