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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: nicholas on May 11, 2021, 10:55:27 AM



Title: Question for my ex possibly
Post by: nicholas on May 11, 2021, 10:55:27 AM
Was thinking of asking my ex do you know how I feel about you...(I love her very much) we are friends, just wondering how she may interpret this? Would this pressure her or would she be able to answer freely... Thanks for responses


Title: Re: Question for my ex possibly
Post by: kells76 on May 11, 2021, 10:59:44 AM
Hi nicholas;

What would you hope would happen after you asked her that question?

-kells76


Title: Re: Question for my ex possibly
Post by: nicholas on May 11, 2021, 12:13:48 PM
That I can move on one way or another :) in the meantime I’ll keep moving slowly toward both goals, relationship and or freedom.


Title: Re: Question for my ex possibly
Post by: ForeverDad on May 11, 2021, 12:18:14 PM
In a relationship with a person with an acting-out Personality Disorder - and there is resistance to getting and applying meaningful therapy - then your efforts to get some level of closure from your spouse will likely fail.  What to do then?  If the relationship fails then... Gift yourself closure and move on.


Title: Re: Question for my ex possibly
Post by: kells76 on May 11, 2021, 01:12:39 PM
For you, how much would you say the direction you go ("relationship or freedom") depends on her answer?


Title: Re: Question for my ex possibly
Post by: nicholas on May 11, 2021, 02:17:23 PM
It’s complicated :) I’ll write more of a background (for cathartic means) tonight... thank you for the questions and allowing me to think clearly about this. Work for now 


Title: Re: Question for my ex possibly
Post by: kells76 on May 11, 2021, 02:20:07 PM
Excerpt
It’s complicated

That's fair!

Excerpt
That I can move on one way or another ... in the meantime I’ll keep moving slowly toward both goals, relationship and or freedom.

As you put together some thoughts, I'm thinking about this, and pondering ForeverDad's idea of getting whatever closure you need yourself.

Sure, it makes sense that if she doesn't want to get back together... maybe not much you can do.

But what if she does?

Then... is it inevitable that you guys do?

In all of this... what do YOU want?

That's what I'm curious about.

...

I'm at work too! So, more later.