BPDFamily.com

Hello!

I’m new here. I’m looking for help regarding a relationship I was in that ended and I want to stay friends with that person. We kinda dated for a while and one time we met but I told him I wasn’t down to have sex with him that one time. He initially responded well, but then stopped talking to me. When I messaged him about it, he was completely off and kept shutting me off. I really value our friendship and understand that the love is gone but I really want to be there for him as a friend and vice versa. It’s been almost 3 weeks now. I’m wondering if I should wait in case he writes to me again? Or if I should just try my luck and message him again to reinitiate contact.

Thank you for your help!

A relationship needs both sides' involvement. I wouldn't push him, and pushing may result in him intensifying his negative feelings for you. A simple message should suffice saying you're open to talking whenever he wants to reengage in the friendship. After that, I'd leave it to him to decide.

transitioning between lovers to exes to friends is hard, and its rare.

when it happens, its very rarely more than an occasional exchange of pleasantries.

im not saying it never happens. i have an ex with whom it ended badly, really badly with, but years later, we became pretty good friends. we chat once every month or few months, i go to her halloween party each year, thats really the extent of it. we dont have the relationship we had either before or while we were together, we never will, and its best that we dont.

Jabiru is right. dont push. if someone is shutting you off, read what they are doing/saying, and heed it.

if you want to do anything, keep it very light. for example, if you are social media friends, 'like' certain posts, that kind of thing. i wouldnt go any further than that.