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Title: Stay or Go, long time friend Post by: NeedAdvice87 on June 03, 2021, 07:08:59 AM Have had a very best friend of 6 years who I strongly believe to have BPD. The relationship has involved supporting many crises of health and circumstances.
I never had the reactions aimed at me until I moved 30 minutes away a few years ago. Intense enduring meltdowns and a lot of stress for me. Have always felt on edge any time abandonment fearing behavior or desperation comes up and it makes me really want to have space. Now I am moving 5 hours away. I told her that her reaction during the last move was an experience that I could not go through again, in an effort to avoid repeating that emotional strain. I have felt like I'm in a constant state of panic attack with the reactions I'm receiving. Anger, dismissal, sadness, confusion, love, remorse. I do not know how to feel comfortable anymore and don't know how to make the friendship good. Title: Re: Stay or Go, long time friend Post by: once removed on June 08, 2021, 09:41:01 PM how are things going the past few days? any update?
Title: Re: Stay or Go, long time friend Post by: NeedAdvice87 on June 09, 2021, 05:33:23 PM Hi lots of updates! After telling her I bought a house she got angry and said she needed space from me but four hours later says i miss you I love you.. didn't answer. Next day she says shes so heartbroken to not hear from me.
I am currently doing no contact. I told her my nervous system had reached a major threshold and I need space to take care of myself. She said something back that I didn't read because I know it will stress me out no matter what it says, even if it is understanding... May be even more stressful to me of it is understanding. I feel none of the stress that I had been experiencing over the last two weeks. I do feel very sad to be hurting her and also letting my bandmates down for our first and only show we were supposed to play in July. And it makes my stomach hurt. |