|
Title: Aging mother w/ BPD Post by: Sam Buddy on June 08, 2021, 12:23:41 PM Hello, I'm trying to navigate my mother's BPD painful and draining behaviors as she is aging and despite therapy, reading, and self care, I'm still struggling. This is my next phase of self care. Reaching out to a community for support. I know I can no longer isolate and try to move through this disease alone. Thank you for being here, being brave, and exploring this with me.
Sending love and light. ~ Sam Buddy Title: Re: Aging mother w/ BPD Post by: GaGrl on June 08, 2021, 12:55:00 PM Welcome! :wee:
Several of us are dealing with arguing parents, some with PCs and some not. My 95 year old mother is in home hospice care now, and she has a few milder BPD traits that come out sometimes. What is your mother's current situation? Does she live independently? How much does she depend on you, and for what? Title: Re: Aging mother w/ BPD Post by: Methuen on June 09, 2021, 08:08:28 PM Welcome Sam Buddy,
Excerpt ...BPD painful and draining behaviors as she is aging and despite therapy, reading, and self care, I'm still struggling. You are not alone. Many of us here have struggled with an aging BPD parent. I landed on this website almost 2 years ago. I was desperate then, but am doing much better now. My mom is 85 and has a lifetime of stored anxiety in her body, which is falling apart. She can't walk more than 10-20 steps, and is now very weak. She has had many falls. They tend to be my fault, even if I'm not present when they happen. She once raged at me that all her pain was my fault. Even though she is weak, half blind, half deaf, had multiple mini strokes, can't walk inside her house without her walker, has heart issues, osteoporosis (breaks bones when falling on her grass lawn), Parkinson's disease, and a host of other problems, she refuses to go on a waiting list for assisted living (she lives independently. She wanted to move in with us, but we couldn't go down that road). I think she's afraid of assisted living because she herself believes that people in homes are worthless, and she fears abandonment, even though she surely knows that we would never abandon her there. BPD thinking is irrational. I have a lifetime of stories about her, and how mean and hurtful and vengeful she can be. The information on this site, and the support of this community has really helped me. I too started with self-care. Then I moved into setting boundaries, and learning some other skills. It's good to hear you are taking care of yourself, reading, and doing therapy. When you are OK to tell us a little more about your situation with your mom, we may be able to offer some ideas and support. Take care. :hug: |