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 :help: I dont think Im ready. In my gut says no. Im doing the written portion the following week, just to space the crap out. I am also slated to take it again in Jan 2022. So hopefully I dont have to take this stuff ever again Im hoping I get to do it in 6 months span. Im too old for this, and she aged me my 10 years. So one can only hope I get this done. I didnt put as much pressure on myself since last time I nearly had a stroke, this time. I guess since I was put through absolute hell, ( and my mother didnt make life any easier) Im at the point in my life "well lets see what happens". I turn 45 in 6 months exactly. So lets see what happens..

Aw LB, you are going to be great! Exam nerves is a thing, breathe deeply, chant, meditate. You don't want to trip yourself up through nerves. Don't study till the last minute, have something nice for supper, watch a video, sleep early. You got this! If you can survive BPD you are not going to let a fiddling exam challenge you. Praying for you!
 :hug: :hug: 

LB,

Wishing you the best.! We are all rooting for you!

B53

TY!  Test sucked btw...

Test Sucked btw :(

Lb, thanks for checking in! Was just wondering about you :) Hope you are having a good rest after all the strain. Do you want to tell us more about the test?

 :hug: :hug:

:hug: test was okay. It wasnt until I was at part 3 I was thinking about "her" I kept on blocking it out but it was like someone sticking a tongue out at me, or a fly trying to land on me.

When do you get your results? 

JSYK..all the Ls I know said they didn't enjoy the test.  Fingers crossed for a good result.

Best,

FF

July 1st. I need to do 1 more section which is the written. Maybe Saturday.

LB, praying for you today. Well done for blocking her. Keep it up  :wee:

 :hug: :hug:

need as many prayers. This was the time of year the relation was going south.. I did something stupid today. I had a marathon I had to work, runner safety. So after what I had to do, I got McDonalds, went to where she and I use to eat, but on the other side of the water and was like - this is what you and I had today. And I just broke down in tears in my car. I know I am over her, its the memories which remain

Dear LB, my hearts breaks to hear that. Let it flow, tears are good, they cleanse, they heal. You will feel lighter when they are done.  

I hope you are running too?. You'd be surprised at the difference exercise makes. I'd be lost without my regular endorphins.

Check back in when you can and let us know you are OK.

 :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

:hug: :hug: :hug: the LSAT people keep toying with me. it just sucks.

Im taking the test again in January.. I dont know if its worth it

LB, don't give up. You are not going to allow your pwBPD to steal your life away like that. You  have worked too hard to get where you are. January is plenty of time to heal and to study without somebody keeping you up nights in circular arguments.
 :hug: :hug:

:hug: How a moth is drawn to a flame which will get burned... I find this need and desire to call her just to see how she is if her head is in the right place, etc. Since its been a year and 6 months since her moms passing. red-flag red-flag

LB, don't. She will contact you when she is ready. Calling her is just offering yourself up for an ass-whipping. Remember what happened last time? 
Work on yourself in the meantime, try to remember the man she fell in love with. I know it is hard, when one is busy it is easier, but to rest without  companionship is hard. Eventually though, you come to appreciate yourself and all the fine things you have to offer. Take yourself out out for an icecream and some self love. You deserve it.

 :hug: :hug:

Im trying. Im bing watching "The Office" I know shes into it. So I end up buying myself a T-Shirt and Mask.

well done LB! T-shirt and mask it is  :) :hug: :hug:

Im a simple man. I dont ask for alot.

LB, you are worthy of the best! Your black life matters  :wee:
I want you to do yourself this favour: imagine yourself seven months from now, laying your LSAT at your lady's feet.  She might just find that sexy.
Is that worth six months of self discipline? For the sake of both your futures, can you give up on the all night circular conversations and the guilt tripping dysregulations just for a few months? And instead eat well, sleep well, exercise and focus on your studies. Trusting her to handle her own stuff while you handle yours.
 :hug: :hug:

nods... maybe...