BPDFamily.com

I need some help making a decision, or maybe better said carrying a decsion out.

I live in Germany, but my parents are in the UK. My Mum is currently ill in hospital and it's pretty serious. Not yet life threatening, but it has the potential to be. We have two kids, 1.5 and 6, but no family where we live. Due to Corona rules, I would have to quarentine for at least 5 days in the UK, before being able to visit my Mum and come home. My eldest is in school and would most probably not get the time off, my youngest could, but then can't wear a mask whilst going through airports etc. So I would most likely have to travel alone, leaving my pwBPD alone with them for a week.

We've just moved and she is coming out of a pretty bad episode and is not very stable right now. She is really, really struggling with our toddlers mood swings, up to and including biting herself to stop a rage coming on. On one hand, she is trying to stay in control of her emotions, but on the other you can see how close to the edge she is.  She is also not in therapy. We could ask her Mum to help out, but in all honesty her Mum is a trigger all by herself.

So I am stuck in a way, I want to see my Mum and provide emotional support to my Dad, but then I am worried about my kids. Also to be brutally honest with myself I am personally dealing with really not wanting to see my Mum like that and not having the strength to deal with any more drama from my partner. It would be so easy to just ignore the problem and just hope my Mum gets better, but I know I shouldn't.

Therefore, I am asking from advice to help guide me.

Hm. Does your mum have any support besides your dad? Do you trust that she is receiving adequate medical care, and does she have people advocating on her behalf?

This is a balancing act for sure. Considering what you've shared so far I might lean towards prioritizing my children's care and wellbeing, especially if your SO has been unstable lately.