BPDFamily.com

Yesterday morning, I received a text from my sister
stated that if I come near her she will get a restraining order and then she signed up for hiking group that I had joined and she can see who is on the list and signed up after she sent that task even though she knew i was part of a group.
she lives out of cape but travels to work on cape monday through friday and  said she will be spending time on the cape and for me if I see her not to engage with her or she will look into restraining order
she is still upset about the facts of when I took her in for a year and four months stating I was abusing her but yet wanted to make residence in my home in the basement that i told her could not be legal since no two exits. what started out as me taking in her in to help her save money adjust to new job but with intention for her to get her own place turned out where she wanted to stay with me indefinitely and I was walking on eggshells in my home home with her threatening if i tell her to leave she would call the cops. she had no lease she paid no money at my place she came and left when she wanted and she wanted to make a permanent residence in my basement which is not legal.
i felt relief when she left but was very sad that our sister and sister relationship was not healthy and i wanted to repair but could not and had to take care of my own wellbeing.

I dont understand what is happening with her I offer a place for her to stay until she could find a place and one year and four months go by and she tells me I abused her but yet wants to stay in my basement even though stated not safe no two exits and wants to stay in my home and everyone to walk on eggshells.
she states one thing then puts someone in a tough spot perplexed trying to understand not only what is happening how to cope how to have healthy separation and decrease conflict and have peace etc.
i am worried about many of her  statements  and have so many feelings about what is happening and what she says.
I don't want to be around her alone at this time and now I feel stress about if i should see her in public.
she also made threats to talk to my employer and makes statements saying I don't treat my patients right.
she also told my mother after she left her home after staying with her in her only one bedroom  taking over her apartment then when she left stated for my mother not to call her or come near her home or will get a restraining order on her too. my mother does not plan to come near her but like is experiencing many emotions
i experience much grief loss sadness about not only the lost of a relationship i had hoped to have a healthy boundary connection sister to sister bond but also  with worry and  fear of what she says and worry concern for her mental health and want her to feel love peace and get what she needs
I have taken family connections course to figure out how to talk to my sister and I am trying to validate to what I can do best and she tells me i am fake and don't use mental health tactics on her and she considers this abusive tactics and threatens me
i am not engaging with her anymore but I don't know if I am going to see her  in public  or we work for the same healthcare system so don't know if i would have contact wit her without trying to but somehow connect due to we are in the same place or with work talking with eachother due to work scenario.  this is becoming more and more  stressful.

do people who deal with borderline personality deal with these i threats and what is best to do?
but I think I need to obtain support in different ways to cope with my feelings and situation.
thank you for reading this lengthy email.  I am sorry if not clear. I am feeling great stress over this.
Thank you Rose

Ugh... at least you have documentation though it's sad that you feel that you have to alter your life around her threats.

How well do you get along with your boss? It might be a good idea to warn your work.

How do you respond when she sends things like that? This is a good strategy:

 2.03 | B.I.F.F. Technique for Communications (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=134124.msg1311953#msg1311953)

Brief (minimize the target), Informative (truth) Friendly (no conflict), Firm (boundary). I found that this works verbally as well.

If you've tried SET (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=143695.0), it sounds like she seems triggered by what she perceives as psychology tricks. I haven't seen that often here, but only a few times where pwBPD pick up on that negatively.

"...and she tells me I abused her but yet wants to stay in my basement..."

This kind of contradiction is so common...and so crazy-making!