|
Title: help to understand Post by: Sandrita on August 28, 2021, 12:47:39 AM Hi guys, first time on here.
looking for answers, so many unanswered questions, trying to understand why? after 9 years together my SO left me saying he had enough of the fighting, arguments, disrespect and me not trusting him. just to find out, he got back together with an ex (which he had online relationships with) while we were together...after charming me and her on the other side, when i found out told him I'm stepping back in order for them to continue. i was told by his family member to let him be, my messages are stressing him out and they are all ok with what he did to me? I am the one in the wrong? I know I am much at fault as I knew nothing about BPD traits etc. and how to not have taken things personally, what i said and did added to the chaos. when i finally reached out for support he has put me and my kids out of his place... he has been ghosting me, he is the angry one telling everyone he has stopped all contact with ME (as if I'm the bad one here)? he has cut me off completely and has moved on... not even half my story but i need to move on, forgive, forget, but I love him, really I do. I also want to learn more about BPD... rgds Title: Re: help to understand Post by: Woolspinner2000 on August 28, 2021, 10:42:57 AM Welcome Sandrita! :)
Thank you for sharing a bit of your story and what brought you here. I'm really glad you found us. |iiii Am I correct in assuming you think your SO has BPD traits? It's beyond tough to survive in a relationship where someone has BPD. It's natural to be struggling after a breakup. A pwBPD sees the world very black and white quite often. If my uBPDm decided she didn't like someone or decided she was hurt by them, she would cut them off forever, and paint them black to anyone who would listen. While it's so sad, I'm not surprised that your SO is telling his family and friends that you're the bad one. It's their way of 'self soothing,' odd as that may seem. It allows them to feel better about themselves even if it's not at all true what they're saying. Do you feel as if that's an acurate description of what you're going through? :hug: Wools |