BPDFamily.com

 :hi: First post

She wants to disclose when she feels like self harm, cut, or had suicidal ideations. She no longer cuts and has record of it.

Shes getting help. I feel that i'm going "out of the honeymoon phase" and idealization phase and starting to better come to grips with what this relationship may hold and the necessity it holds. I love her, and in the honeymoon phase I was ready to see her as the one. I still do. But im scared...

She has so much darkness, so much trauma in her life. I do too, in fact we have both similar trauma, which is healing. But she has a lot of darkness...and lot of PLEASE READ (https://bpdfamily.com/safe-site.htm)ed up stuff that happened. I told her that one of my boundaries is about that. When she feels bad she can reach out to me. But i don't feel safe hearing words like cutting, suicide, etc. And she wants to respect that. Which is great. Honestly, i'm reading "walking on eggshells" and she sounds nothing like some of the more aggressive individuals. So i'm grateful that she is kind and loving to me.

But anyways. My next step is to figure out what are my boundaries. But also, to see if I have the emotional strength to commit to this relationship, or will it have a toll on me...I'm really scared for her and I think its beginning to get me depressed and think about my own vulnerabilities and triggers/activations. Which i'm trying to work on.

Thank you for reading :) :wee: :wee:

Hi and welcome :hi: That's great you're setting and enforcing some boundaries. Consistency is key. My favorite follow up to reading "Stop Walking on Eggshells" is "Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist". I find its advice more practical. Keep listening to yourself and taking care of yourself.

We're all ears if you have any questions  :)