BPDFamily.com

 :hi: So... She tried calling me.. Asking me for help.. I told her wrong number and to please never call me again, only call me when you have the money I let you borrow. I dont think I will see the money I let her borrow. But I did an accomplishment :wee:...

I’m proud of you! It takes awhile to get to that point and stick to it. That’s a big step. I have gone NC for  7 months, it gets easier.

Stay strong!

It just sucks. hearing my mom complain about it ad nausem is the most annoying part.. you spent so much money.. so much on tolls.. so much on the hotel.. wear and tear on the car.. I think she also fits in the narcissist category too..(shes 85)

It’s easy for someone who has not lived through it to make judgment. They have no idea the hold these people can have on us. That’s what makes this place so wonderful.
 
It has been almost seven months NC for me and I can say for sure, there is no going back. Life gets better every day.

I wish I would have said similar, I think its an example of being assertive in a very fair and open way. I just dont think I could pull it off at the moment, so I look up to you for doing in such a reasoned way in light of the emotional history.

Sometimes there are moments in life it takes consideration to write something off. Insurance companies are not known for being emotional impulsive people but masters of statistics. It sounds like you weighed up how important it was to let this debt remain a part of the sticking glue, its one way to keep contact, a perpetual debt, I see the rationale behind it beyond the momentary gain for her.

inspiring stuff nicely done.

Nice work. Hope for us out there.

Good job! I'm really proud of you  :wee:

It’s just sad that’s all

She owes me $1600… I don’t think I will see that money

Ty

All we can do is try

LB, that is a big step for you. Proud of you for sure.

Cheers amigo!

-SC-

my mom is always critical about stuff...

TY!

Its my 85 yr old mom... not me (about the money)

This is something to be proud of it takes a lot of effort not to reach out let alone when they reach out to you.
Congratulations of staying strong, this something that I fear myself not sure that will happen at some point or not its only been about two weeks NC. When I caught her in another lie is when I finally had enough, there have been so many going all the way back to the first day I met her.

I know some charm some dont, but i need to be prepared just in case.

That sounds super wise Shaken54. To be prepared for either outcome. Many members understandably are so shocked by the devaluation and coaxed that they drop the guard and believe that must truly be the complete end of it, there's no way there would be a recontact attempt. Sometimes this will be true but very often it isnt and that reintiation from bpd ex side can be a complete shock out of nowhere.

Well done LB!You got this!  :hug: :hug:

I'd like to add my felicitations, legalboxers. Well done. The old Romans used to say per aspera ad astra, roughly "rocky roads lead to the stars". Congratulations on your inner victory.

That's entirely up to you legal boxers my debt is paltry it doesn't matter in momentary terms it matters unprinciple.she gloated in a meaning superior WANNABE narcissist. And she took advantage of q guy who loved her to get that kick.

Its not without consequence. I wasn't brought up or legal mechanisms like yoh are trained lest id use it. I was born oa
I haven't even started with thaf inbred along with those from my past

Im not some Saint i have from god the warrior gene. Look it up backed by science and there time will come

I already messaged her today and I'll show her And the meek new era emasculators what you do with PLEASE READ (https://bpdfamily.com/safe-site.htm)

I had to message her and let that steam out it'd been half a decade of fear and feeling like a crushed worm pandering to a foot. I tried everything it didnt work its run against the grain of my sure. I have her some PLEASE READ (https://bpdfamily.com/safe-site.htm) to digest and if she responds back ill double it back. I. Tried the psychiatry the philosophy thd double baths its for some not6me. I. Have a earrior gene its who i am and im tied of mental illness from going against nature and appeasing the :ones who narcissistic ally claim to know better {yet are also perenillay ill and feeling themselves}.

The horrible bitch who hides behind these paid psychiatrists and allowed to abuse at whim our society is ill and the lunatics are charge of the asylum some of them bpd themselves.

Ill do it my way don't need the psycho babble anymore theory based carp whilst they go on and live life and cash im their 'vicrim based disability. Its a scam to keep the lumpen under control and funnel tax payer cash to the quacks

Hello LB,

I haven't been around the forum much in the last few weeks. When I logged in today and saw your post, I was pleasantly surprised and quite happy to read about your progress. I've followed your story since the very beginning.  Keep it up with the progress, and don't let her worm her way back into your life!

Best Wishes!

Thank you :)

She is just toxic all together. Im learning. One year later...

do they feel a need to gloat? I think shes on guy #15...

My mom is hell bent on getting the money back. I dont think I will.

can I borrow this ? I hate her. She isnt nice.

LB, I am happy to see the change. But, just don't go overboard. Still gotta be you...the nice big hearted person, but now just adopt a little bit of an edge. Practice assertiveness and being firm and indifferent to provide yourself with some balance.

The money thing...personally I would just forget about it and write it off. Why? Not worth it. Your personal time, mental sanity, etc are worth a hell of a lot more. Some people just suck. It was a bad investment. You lost money. Shhh...it happens ;-). Let it go. Money is something you can make more of and get back. Chalk it up as a loss and a lesson learned and onto the next...

Yes, they gloat. They need the external validation...you know this at this point. I don't think I need to kick a dead horse there.

Regardless, I hope you are truly doing well.

Cheers and all the best!

-SC-

Trust me..Id like to.. Mom keeps telling me to get the money back. I know I wont..

Be yourself its all we have.


“I embrace my Shadow self, Shadows give depth and dimension to my life. I believe in embracing my duality, in learning to let darkness and light, peacefully co-exist, as illumination.”
 ~ Jaeda DeWalt

"Filling the conscious mind with ideal conceptions is a characteristic of western theosophy but not the confrontation with the shadow and the world of darkness. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious".
 ~ Carl G. Jung


It's my life and pain to find a way to absolve. At the end of the working day each go home to their own other roles ans carry their own issues. Do i hate her? Not entirely. Which makes it all. The more difficult. I have compassion for the illness and persuaded that it played a variable in her behaviour. I put on the scale the kind and fun loving times and can't 'hate' the whole person, mask or not. But i have terrible memories and they involve her abuse and they are not entirely resolved. Neither at the time Bevause i might even in that moment clocked on that showing my anger {as I've done a modicum here} would have been supplying her. Why else would you phone your partner whist having sex with someone else but to get a very antagonistic reaction. I didnt but the volume of the negative energy had no place to go but internalised.

It didn't matter everything positive since it got carried, it made me.distrust forever. Her apologies i didn't believe and even if i did would not have made a difference.

Legal. All i can say in practical sense is i feel quite a bit better after doing so. You'll know yourself sometimes litigation is not about money but principle and seeking redress for a claim of being wronged. We probably all have our own ways and thankfully i discovered mines involves sounding off a bit and i feel better for it. 5 years ago belated , 20 miles away from her and does no harm. A controlled explosion.

Makes total sense. Thank you..

not sure I thanked you but ty