BPDFamily.com

Hi all,

I haven't written in a while, but I'm at kind of an impasse in my own post-divorce life, and am looking for some advice on how to resolve it.

Here is the issue: I'm dealing with a significant geographic move by BPDxw that has negatively impacted my time with my daughter, and also placed a significant burden on me to commute through the city to pick up my D on the nights I have possession.

I'm struggling with what to do about it, as I'm not sure I have a great case to get a court to force a change in possession rights, but have been talking to attorneys.  BPDxw did not violate the geographic restrictions in the decree, but did fail to provide notice of her move (including lying about it, denying in writing that she was planning to move, and refusing to provide her new address until after the move was complete), & has been consistently making disparaging remarks about me to our D. 

Assuming I am not able to fight for and win primary custody over these issues alone, what sorts of geographic restrictions could I get in place to prevent this sort of thing from happening again? I haven't had much luck finding examples of more narrowly-tailored restrictions online, so if anyone knows any sources, please send!

One of my long term concerns here involves what happens when my new S.O. and I buy a house together, and BPDxw decides to take a look at the map, and - out of spite -  move as far away as possible under the terms of the divorce decree.  What sort of terms can I get that restrict this, or maybe trigger making some rights joint if this happens? 

BPDxw's own history (including during our time together) involves a lot of rash, poorly thought out decisions, frequent job changes, and a lot of reckless spending, so I presume this will continue, and even if she doesn't move out-of-spite, she may be forced to sell her house and move due to financial problems, or job loss.

My county required at least 30 days advance notice filed with the court.  And if the person didn't want to notify the other parent then the court would.

One time she notified the court but checked the box not to also notify me.  I wanted to take it to court but my lawyer said it wouldn't shock the court.  So you might be right, that by itself the court might just shrug.  Bad but not bad enough to be very actionable.

Is she changing the school too?  You could approach it that just an evening or overnight midweek is difficult due to distance and traffic and seek longer visits or longer weekends?

yes, the school also changed, much for the worse.  our daughter is now attending a school with lower scores on the state testing rankings.