BPDFamily.com

Do pwBPD tend to act interested in a person, ask them out on a date and then as soon as that person agrees to meet them ghost without a reason?


The guy I’m talking about is someone I have known for almost 2 decades. We used to be friends but haven’t really seen each other a lot in the last couple of years, but when we ran into each other on different occasions, we always had great chemistry.
A couple of months ago we happened to match on a dating app and he initiated contact and gave me his number (he told me he usually doesn’t reply to any girls on the app and prefers texting. This was actually true, because a couple of friends also tried to chat him up, but he kept ignoring every single message and never initiated contact with any of them). So we switched to texting and I decided to delete our match on the dating app, because I thought now that we had each others private phone number, that match was no longer needed anyway…
He soon asked me out on a date suggesting specific activities we could do together.
As soon as I agreed to meet him, he ghosted me without a warning!
I tried to contact him twice but haven’t heard from him ever since.

Shortly after the ghosting, he changed his profile picture on the messaging app to a picture of him that mirrored my profile picture which definitely wasn’t just a coincidence.
A couple of weeks later when I requested to follow him on social media, he immediately accepted my request and wanted to follow me back. He then started posting about things he knew I enjoyed, but stopped posting anything as soon as I deactivated my social media account.
I tried to contact him once again a couple of weeks ago, but he keeps ignoring my texts…
He still hasn’t deleted or blocked my number though…
He hasn't started seeing anyone else and has been single for a few years.

I don't really understand what's going on?

Could deleting the match on the dating app have possibly triggered any abandonment issues he might have?
This really is the only thing that comes to my mind…..

Is there anything I can do to improve the situation or make him talk to me again now that he decided to ignore me?


Thank you for any kind of help!  :hug:

its a little bit difficult to say.

we are talking about a world in which around 80% (those are the last statistics i read, years ago) have been ghosted. ive been ghosted in professional settings, romantic ones, platonic ones.

why do people do this? im sure the reasons vary. typically, its because the emotions of dealing with it are too difficult for the person. but plenty of the time, its laziness, just sort of the way its become.

it could have been something you said. it could be because he met someone. it could be social anxiety. it could have been that he read you deleting the match as disinterest. it could be that he wasnt interested in the activities you suggested.

it could be all of those things. it could be one or more of those things. it could be none of those things. its really impossible to say, and pure speculation. im inclined to think that its something more to do with him, if he didnt respond, but then accepted a friend request on social media. just very generally speaking, people wont accept that sort of advance from someone they are seeking distance from.

to be very frank with you, i dont think youre achieving anything from contacting him any further. that will only tend to push a person (anyone) further away. if you want answers, its a far better bet to run into him and see how that goes.