BPDFamily.com

Hello,

So almost 2 months ago now, I broke up with my BPDex because of her angry outbursts, hurtful words and accusations, and her relationship sabotage. It was an incredibly painful and difficult decision to make, since I did and do still love her.

I’ve found out that she started dating again, and when I did find out, I have to be honest, I became hysterical. This was my first relationship. I’m 23. I became filled with jealousy, panic, fear, and suicidal thoughts. I never really got closure. She was very verbally offensive when we broke up. I feel abandoned and disregarded even though I’m the one that broke it off. My head is spinning.

How can she be so happy, well put together, and seeing new guys? I’m still grieving and thinking about her everyday while she is probably making love with this new guy. I’m losing my freaking mind.

What do I do? What do I not do? Why am I having such jealous and fear happen to me? Please, anyone help me. I feel like I’m being ripped apart all over again.

Deep Blue

oh, Deep Blue.

i wish i could take how you will feel ten years from now (less than that, i promise, but just to put things in perspective) and show it to you. it will all be so very distant. for that matter, the urgency of this fresh pain will dissipate with a few days.

i know thats not much respite right now. unfortunately, there isnt a lot to be had, beyond knowing and believing that it gets better. seeing an ex get into a new relationship always hurts.

a first love/first relationship like this, i can imagine its really gotta sting.

for now, breathe. it helps to talk. we are listening.

DB, I have perhaps been hard on you at times. But, I definitely come from a place of caring. I will echo OR here that just talk man. I have had my heart broken numerous times through the years. Hell if it helps you my high school sweetheart crushed me, my first love. That breakup was brutal. Nothing disordered about it though, we were just young and for how deep our relationship was...probably in over our heads, but I wouldn't change anything because it is a part of what allowed me to become who I am today. And hey honestly it took me a couple years to really get past it. I loved that girl and truth is I will until we leave this earth. However, I moved on and realized that was a huge stepping stone for me. I am hoping for you that you will get to that place to. For reference I dated that girl from a Freshmen through to my Senior year. So it was a big deal.

I can see your feelings are quite real and deep for this girl. However, in due time while the feelings could remain I do think you will come to the realization that you can love someone but that you do not have to be with them and that you can love and care about them from afar. It takes time but you will get there.

No more though because I have been in your shoes and I know some of these words of wisdom may actually just irritate so I am going to leave it mellow for now. What I want from you...just continue to share. Feel free to ask generalized questions to. Don't just focus on everything related to BPD. This is key. This is the detaching board so you have more freedom here.

Keep your head up! We are here for you and have your back!  |iiii

#bropound

Cheers and best wishes!

-SC-

Cheers and best wishes to you!