BPDFamily.com

Hello Everyone,
I haven't posted on this board is such a long time, I hope everyone is healthy.
In the past 8 months exbpd has been extremely nice and easy going with me, no false allegations of abuse, no picking fights and controlling text messages.
A few years ago she got married and she made sure that I was made of aware of how wonderful her new husband is, she got to the point of telling me how many days until her wedding attempted to make me jealous, etc.
Recently my friend called me and told me "guess what?", on exbpd Facebook page she changed her name back to her maiden name and removed that she was married.  (When she got married she "accidentally sent me her Facebook and new last name).  I have also noticed during our sons school activities her husband is never there and she doesn't wear the wedding ring anymore.
I don't mind her being nice one bit but I know the stage of emotions BPD's go through and numerous breakups we had where we were a couple.  So my questions I guess is what does everyone make of these behaviors? My first guess is that they are separated but I don't ask, I know if this is true and she finds her next knight in shinning armor the nicest towards me will stop because I will be painted black again.

 Hard to tell but don’t forget to enjoy it while it lasts and use the time to strengthen your relationship with your kids

July I found out about her beau, by late September we called us done. It took until February for her to move out comfortably. we did custody OK.

The following December, after their 10 day eurotrip/advance honeymoon (it was an expense paid volunteering trip for youth, nice...) they were engaged. Married at the courthouse in June.

Had lunch with her and the kids on the fall, not five months after they started cohabitation as a married couple, and she told me, apropos of nothing, "living together is sure harder than dating." I wanted to scream "YA THINK?"

Less than a year later, she called me for help with DV, she was the worst perp, but it came out that he was controlling and physical as well. I predicted that when she still lived with us.

The kids had been telling me things... enough to almost make me weep. She was the same person. I was neutral, so she confided in me and I helped her through DV based upon what I learned here.

Separation. It was another year before she finally decided to divorce the guy she left me for. Scrubbed her FB of him,  including the "you go girl!" Comments from her girl friends.

Still married, but physically separated (backing up a bit here) she asked to come back... by text!  :)

No [way in hell].

From what she and the kids told me, he got it far worse than I did, including being arrested and a TPO against his brother. I actually felt sorry for him. The first year I put on my big boy pants, girded my loins, and tried to coparent with the dude. That went OK.

My point is that it sounds like it is what it is. Validating? Maybe. Angering? Likely.

Focus on you and your kids. She is who she is and you are who you are. Play the long game.