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Does anyone have a psychotherapist that they find helpful? It has to be a psychotherapist, not a psychologist because that's what insurance covers. I'd have to be able to talk to them by video. I have one but she's not helpful at all. She doesn't understand BPD and gives me bad advice. My best friend is going through a hard time and can't help me with my problems right now. My partner listens to me but he doesn't know what to say. I don't have anyone else to talk to. I overshared with my coworker yesterday and I could tell that she didn't want me to tell her about it. I've overshared with people that I don't know well enough before and it can scare them away. This group has been the most helpful for me. It's so helpful to have people that understand me and have experienced the same situations. All of you give the best advice too. If anyone can recommend someone I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you!

I don't know of a specific therapist although I have done counseling in the past and it is helpful. In addition, one of the most helpful things for me has been an ACA( ACOA) group and working with a sponsor. Going to meetings alone isn't as effective as meetings in addition to working with a sponsor.

There usually are some locally but many have gone online due to Covid. Searching online for local groups is a start. You would have to ask someone to be a sponsor. I would recommend attending meetings to get to see who is there - then deciding who to ask.

They get it. Alcoholism and BPD dynamics are similar, and you have both going on.

Hiring a psychotherapist is a similar process to making decisions about deciding who we want in our lives. Growing up with abuse, can make us more prone to choosing the wrong people or putting up with the wrong person for too long. This year I had to hire a lawyer to defend me against my sister who had hired her own attorney to basically deprive me of the people, places, and things that mean the most to me. I initially hired a terrible narcissist before finding a really competent caring attorney. Do you have a list of questions you would like to ask the psychotherapist to see if he/she is a good fit? I made sure my last psychotherapist was near enough in age to me for me to feel comfortable, was married and had children, something I never did because I have avoidant attachment from having my emotional needs completely ignored as a child. With my current attorney, I had to work hard to make sure he understood that my sister is a malignant narcissist, a narcissist who also has many of the traits of a psychopath. Once he got what kind of person my sister is, the attorney did not try any of the waste your money and time tactics like mediation which cause so much pain and frustration with high conflict personalities, and he went straight to using strategies that backed my sister into a corner, recognizing she is only interested in making things as painful as possible for me. Know what you want in a psychotherapist, ask for it, and be prepared to know if the psychotherapist is not a fit for you, and then find a psychotherapist who is a good fit for you. You will be pleasantly surprised that the more you insist on having the right kind of people in your life,  the more you will attract the right kind of people, and the more toxic people will more quickly lose interest in you, which is therapeutic in itself.

Hi wmm :hi:

When I was searching for a new T, I went online and found names of professionals in my area who are registered with their professional association.  Then, I was able to narrow the names from that down by researching their areas of interest and specialty and found ones that listed BPD.  From there, I started making phone calls and had conversations with several of them.  Then I tried one, learned quickly he wasn't a good fit when I came out frustrated on two consecutive occasions, and tried another which was an excellent fit.  My EAP (Employee Assistance) plan covers for a "clinical" counsellor (different from just "counsellor").  Interesting that yours needs to be a psychotherapist.  Does your plan also include "clinical counsellor"?  That might possibly open up more options.  Sometimes the EAP tells you which professionals you can see (they have a list you can choose from).  The counsellor or psychotherapist has to go through a process to be approved for EAP.  When I started seeing my current counsellor about two years ago, I could get an appointment within a week.  Now she's booking at least 4 weeks in advance.

 I think the most important thing to do is make sure they are registered with their professional college.  There are counsellors and psychotherapists out there who chose the field because of their own issues, and who don't have great reputations, so I believe it's a good idea to do research (due diligence as much as possible) ahead of time, and know that they are professionals in good standing with their governing body (eg College of Physicians and Surgeons, College of Psychotherapists, College of Teachers etc).  If I remember right, you live in Canada. Some provinces (eg Ontario) have their own College of Psychotherpists, but there is also a national College of Psychotherapists.  I made sure my clinical counsellor belonged to her professional association before I even telephoned her the first time to introduce myself and talk to her, to get a feel for her, and maybe see if she would take me on.  The ability to be able to research online is one of the pro's of the internet.  I wish you well in your search, and hope you find a really great person who has experience with the dynamics of BPD.

If you want to find someone who will accept your insurance, you will need to find a licensed professional in your state. In addition to what others have said, you may want to find someone with training in dialectical behavior therapy, one of the most validated therapies for treating BPD. Such a person should be able to understand what you are experiencing and help you to respond more effectively in ways that meet your own needs and goals.