BPDFamily.com

Should I let her know she hurt me. Do I explain what she did and say she needs to look into herself getting more helps for her bpd

To the first part, maybe.  To the second part, telling her there's something wrong with her all you're going to hear is "NO".

Here's a quick link on some of the reasons why "no" to the second part, telling her you think her BPD is out of control.  There are plenty of other areas to search this site and get similar information.  There's a long lecture on the topic, too that Skip posted years back from an expert in the field.  If she's been diagnosed, she likely knows.  I would get sarcastic remarks from my ex like "Thanks Captain Obvious" regularly.  Some I partially deserved,   :)  She was soo hard to read, tho.

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=76633.0

On the first part, should you tell her you're hurt.  It depends.  Most likely it will fall on deaf ears, but it might trigger even more of an immature and emotional response.  She's likely in a childish state on this already.  She doesn't understand her own emotions or drives, how in the world can you expect her to understand yours?

Take a step back, for a moment.  Your ex doesn't want to be "fixed", or she maybe would do that.  I think you want to be fixed, or more specifically "healed".  You have much more control over the latter, even if it would make you feel better if she  understood where you were coming from.  That's not likely to happen anytime soon.

It's fine you asked this question in another thread, but since the other thread was your first you could've just asked this in that one.  It might help keep all your responses together and not dilute anyone trying to comment.  It also helps to show your story which is going to be similar to many people's on this list.  This last paragraph is just a stylistic suggestion.

I told mine that she should be more careful with talking about important things like marriage, kids etc with her next favourite person because it can be very damaging to someone. I didn't mention the fact she likely has bpd because I didn't think there was any point. I barely think there was a point in sending her a message at all because there's no way to even gauge how she'd interpret it. Once I had to move my car because I didn't want it to get towed, it caused an argument and she said "I knowww what you were doing..." . Just nod and smile... nod and smile and wave.